Medvedev Says: What Had Happened Was, That Uh, Hold On, Wait...

From The Telegraph

You see, officer, uh, what had really happened was that, um, they had attackded our for real Russican Citizens, and then what they had did was that uh, they had invaded & stuff, N thin, we like totally had to invade, 4 realz!

Uh, huh! that's why they brought to bear weapons prohibited by treaty and escalated what was already a border skirmish into outright war on 8/6. The events of 8/8 were Russia's 9/11? Excuse me, I think you are -let me pause to consider my diction- making [deleted] up to sound better to the people around the world that already like you, and those not paying close attention.

You know what? When you have an ethnic Russian majority in a province that wants to break away from Georgia, that's one thing. It is quite another when you start handing out Russian passports to the South Ossetians, and then say "well gOLLY! look there's RUSSIANS down there! And when the Georgians respond to an escalation to full war by (predictably) giving warfare back, then you can invade Ossetia and oh maybe a few other minor useless places like Poti, one of the more important warm water ports in the region, and say "gee, world, we were just defending our Russian brothers from those bad ol' Georgians who invaded their territory..." and then you kill off the non-ethnic-Russians in the disputed territory (ethnic cleansing? No, we needn't report on that!) Then you can act surprised and welcome South Ossetia in to join North Ossetia as a Russian territory. And maybe we'll talk about giving the port in Poti back later, eh?

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Of course, it's entirely benign, and not troubling at all that in Sevastopol, Russia has started issuing the same Russian passports to ethnic Russian Ukranians in the Crimean port town where their fleet is based, and their lease is set to expire in 2017. No, there's nothing to be afraid of there, Ukraine! I mean, it's not like Russia is sinking Ukranian ships in the harbor or anything.

Blah blah, Russia, Ukraine, you know who's really screwed over in the Crimea? The Tatars. Thanks Soviets!

For the Americans: there are no lessons to be learned here, and it is not important that Mexico is handing out Mexican ID cards to anybody that wants one, in the USA, with basically no proof required. Nothing to see here either folks, move along!