Because you can't think far enough ahead to acquire sanitary wipes to clean your phone, a device to do it for you
Because it's just too confusing to figure out which way to insert a battery with only two possible choices, a battery with no "wrong way".
Because you are too simple to stand your toothbrush up, a toothbrush that stands up by itself.
The next two at least have some debatable redeeming value: a disposable (earth hater!) EEG helmet supersedes 20 wires placed by an expert, and remote probes to monitor heartbeats from a yard away.
And finally, because you are being dumbed-down so rapidly that the government must do for you what you ought to do, and because "less" is never an option when the government runs short on money, California looks at selling advertisements for your license plate. Nevermind whose car it is.
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