Cell Phone-Free And PIMPIN It!

This article would be a waste of my time to read, except that it puts me in the company of some of the richest and most powerful people in the world. They don't have cell phones, either. That's right, I don't have a cell phone. I also have no intention of getting one.

WTH VFD you don't have a cell phone? EVERYBODY has a cell phone!

Everybody but me and Warren Buffett. I have a home phone and a work phone. There are answering machines at both locations. I have a mailing and an e-mail address. If somebody wants to get ahold of me faster than those allow, tough cookies. My life does not revolve around the convenience of other people. If you are someone I might want to talk to when you are in a hurry to reach me, you know how to get ahold of me in a hurry, or you should at least have a pretty good idea of when and where I will be. Everybody else, including Uncle Sam, creditors, family, and/or the Publisher's Clearing House, can just cool their jets until I get around to them.

This has (let me be perfectly clear) N.E.V.E.R. caused me any inconvenience. And nobody interrupts me as I am safely driving to and fro. And nobody interrupts me during conversations, or during church, or during work, with inane chatter. If I want that, I can always log on to facebook.

But what about zOMG 911 SEND AMBALAMPS-type emergencies?!

I have a deactivated cell phone with a camera and the ability to call 911. I keep that nearby. Any other phone number I might want to call during an exigency or other non-life-threatening event may be reached by borrowing someone else's phone. . . after all, everybody else has one. I have had to do this exactly once that I can recall, and it could have waited.

Bonus points: I have a land line at the house and a corded phone is plugged into it. Recently, the power went out in the middle of the night. We called the power company and the electricity was on again by the morning.

Besides which, it's an extra $50/month I don't feel the need to spend. Not to mention the possible Repetitive Stress Injury risk. Or the brain cancer question. Or the deadly explosions.