So I found out the other day: I can do 40 push-ups, 18 sets of flutter kicks, and 12 sit-ups with nobody holding my feet. Then I can have an emergency visit to the john, and then proceed to lie sweating a lot, shaking a little, 7/8ths naked on the cold tile floor in the bathroom for 15 minutes while my blood chemistry goes bizzonkers because I did this immediately after waking up an hour early after a rough night of parent-sleep (frequently interrupted, 4hrs total).
Note to self: if you are inclined to exercise, don't. You're probably not in your right mind and it's likely to be a bad idea. Only exercise when you don't want to, because it's obvious then that you're thinking clearly.
Bonus points: It turns out I was fighting off a cold at the time of the incident in question, and that fight was officially lost.
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