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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

3 Signs You Suck At Life

If police respond to a burglary call and find you high on mushrooms on the homeowner's entryway floor, then have to beat the snot out of you to take you into custody, and the hospital staff notice you have a mouse shoved up your bunghole, you suck and need to be in jail.

If you were the inspiration for a law prohibiting you from collecting urine and get prosecuted under it, you suck and need a good psychiatrist*.

If your aunt finds you passed out (high) on the floor and your two week-old baby dead from being run with a load of clothes through the washing machine, you suck and should be killed.

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*this statement is a hate-crime in the United Kingdom. Because the UK also sucks.

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