"Don't Touch My Junk"

Don't you love it when another woman slips a probing finger into your warm, dry vagina? How about when it is a stranger? Isn't it just so exciting? You know how hot it makes you when a stranger carresses your plump, full busoms? Oh, just WOW.

What? You mean that's not the sort of thing you like to have done TO you by a government agent in front of a witness and a camera? Then what are you doing trying to go on an airplane without going through the look-at-you-naked full body backscatter imaging scanner? You silly goose! You are going to be naked or you are going to be naked and masturbated by a TSA "agent" with the authority to put you in jail if you refuse in the wrong way. No you don't get to know what the wrong way is in advance.

You know it's okay, because it's someone of your same sex touching your erogenous zones and fondling your reproductive organs. I mean, for me personally, it makes it all better that a dude is grabbing my scrotum and penis. Who wants a WOMAN doing that? Of COURSE it's just fine to be searched by someone of the same sex!

What? You're not a criminal? You just wanted to go visit your sick Aunt Janice in Peoria? No, you are mistaken. You are a criminal. You are a potential terrorist*. You fucking WILL be searched down to your skin, whether you like it or not. Or you can drive, like I do.

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*You are a terrorist, unless you're a muslim. THEN you can go in with a garment you could hide a bomb or rifle in, and they can't search you. Because that would be offensive. Also because your co-religionists murder people.

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Late breaking news:

If a girl starts kissing a boy, she has to let him fuck her up the anus, because she can't stop once a make-out session starts, even when you come to something along the line to which she objects. Oh, wait, I mean a man refused to allow a security screening to continue when it became clear his penis would be touched by a total stranger as a precondition for his flying on a vacation trip. This apparently is a violation of Federal law. Even though he was escorted out of the terminal by TSA "agents" they want to try to nail him for $11k. Nice.


This is not the way. Israel is a juicier and nearer target, and you know how they prevent airline terrorism? Face to face, and with profiling PLUS random screening. Grille people and see how they squirm as they are questioned by a Hard Person. You don't need to engage in sex acts with children to ensure proper airline security. I shake my head that this is even a question.