After-Action Report 06/03/2009

So there I was, all ready to leave the house in time to get to work early for a change, opening my car door when I noticed a disturbance in the force. The leaves of the tree above the end of my driveway rustled and I looked up. A pigeon took off and crossed the street, and alighted on the street light by the mailboxes.

What could I do? I went and aired up my pellet rifle. Presented with a clear shot like that on a varmint accustomed to making doody on my car, there was no question. As I was pumping (it's a 10-pump pneumatic rifle) a fight broke out. My pigeon was young and smallish, and another came over and said 'Hey that's MY streetlamp!' My quarry decided its previous perch was preferable and came back to my tree, this time almost directly over my car. So, I took aim and fired. Hit. The bird decided that was a noise unrelated to itself and settled down immediately. Disbelieving the stupidity of the thing, I reloaded as the bird hopped to my neighbor's tree (the two trees intertwine) and watched me take aim and fire again. Hit. Clump of feathers sent flying out the other side. Pigeon again decides this is some random noise that has nothing to do with it. It watches me reload from the safety of 12 feet away, turning slightly to present a better target angle (approx. 20). I take aim again and fire. Hit. The bird decides that one hurt pretty bad, and drops flapping from the tree. I reload and finally it decides to get away from the big moving thing that makes noise. It walks under my neighbor's truck and out the other side. I shoot it in the neck point-blank and it flaps STILL! WTF Die Hard Pigeon Edition! I reload AGAIN and shoot it in the F'ing HEAD and it flaps STILL!

Okay fine, this is stupid and you're getting your head chopped off. I picked it up by the tailfeathers and the pitiful thing noted it was free of the ground somewhere in the most basic part of its brain. It made feeble flapping motions with both wings as if it were flying, until I dropped it on the grass where it lay still. I decided it was about dead by then, and went back in the house to grab a plastic grocery store bag in which to wrap it up. #1 and #2 were reading quietly, #3 was complaining about being alone in his crib with a wet diaper and Mommy was tending to personal business prior to getting #3 out of bed. I got #3 and the bag, changed his diaper and took him out to pick up the bird. My Darling Wife took him from me as I went back in to drop the baby off, and they saw me off to work.

Where I delivered the bird to the fellow here pragmatic enough to eat them if they are fresh. Why not? They're doves! I just don't think they're worth the effort to clean, to eat, while he does.

Note on shooting pigeons: if your rifle can reliably deliver a head shot, I generally recommend you take them. Mine has a recent history of being good enough for 2' groups from offhand at 20 yards at least. I usually go for center of mass shots on pigeons however, because this is a suburban area and a miss could lead to property damage. It's easy enough to hit the center of a pigeon at reasonable distances, even though my scope is a pretty dim piece of glass. As it turns out, this one didn't even go with a head shot, so . . . .