I'm a Christian, and I can't eat candy because it's poison and I have bad teeth besides.
My halloween plans include letting my sandwich settle a little in my stomach, and going back to bed because I didn't sleep well last night. Our porch light will be off, as usual, and street-facing curtains will be drawn. No candy.
Go teach your children to beg for hand-outs at somebody else's house, you pagan!
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