A woman hires a limo for $900.
To take her to the Burlington Coat Factory store.
Where she announces that she has won the lottery, and will pay for everybody's stuff, up to $500 worth.
Everybody in the store, employees included, is instantly loaded-up with $500 worth of merchandise, and on the cell phone calling everyone they know. . . .
fast forward . . .
500 people inside
1000 people outside
20 cops trying to keep them all under control . . .
A woman says she doesn't need anything from Burlington, but needs help with bills. The generous patroness writes a check on the spot.
The lucky lottery winner announces she has to go to the bank.
She goes.
She comes back.
WITHOUT any money.
She has no money.
Everybody goes nuts. People are running out of the store with arms full of stuff. People are throwing stuff into the aisles. The cops are in way over their heads.
The woman takes off in her limo.
She stiffs the driver.
He calls the cops.
They arrest her on three prior warrants including making fake 911 calls. No charges yet for inciting a riot. She's going to be evaluated to see if she took one too many crazy pills, and maybe she'll have to take some if she hasn't been.
Somebody tell Obama we have a new candidate for Secretary of the Department of Commerce here . . . .
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