Saturday, April 30, 2011

Busy Little Worker Bee

  • Oil change
  • Fluids checked
  • Car washed
  • Check deposited
  • Oil dropped at recyclers
  • Car inspected
  • Kids' jeep on the charger
  • Fence mended
  • Video software downloaded
  • Longazz Narnia Voyage of the Dawn Treader watched (uh, to um, test the software)

    That makes about 1/4 of the items on my honeydo list done in a day. Still, I think I'd rather have no time for working and have the Zoo here. My Darling Wife took the louder part of the family to see relatives all day today so I could (finally) get some things done. Whew.

    Now for a big tall bowl of iced cream I couldn't get away with in front of the Zoo, and off to bed!
  • Getting Shot: YOU FIRST [deleted]!

    Oh HELL NO! You pointing a gun at ME?

    Before you watch the video or read the description, the following is the proper course of events when someone points a gun at a COP. For a non-COP, you can cut out the first four lines and skip straight to eliminating a deadly threat with deadly violence.

    Goblin: ::points gun at COP::
    COP: "PUT THE GUN DOWN!"
    Goblin: "NO!"
    COP: "PUT THE GUN DOWN OR IMMA SHOOT YOU IN 1 SECOND
    Goblin: "FUCK YOU!"
    COP's gun: BOO-YA!

    This situation right here is a total fail. This [deleted] in front of the Sunbeam store has a gun. The COP shows up on scene and KNOWS he has a gun as we can tell because he calls it out on the video. The felon repeatedly refuses to drop the gun for a couple of MINUTES, pointing the gun at the COP most of that time. Then he goes around and takes cover AND takes aim behind a car, steadying the gun for a better shot? That's 200% past time for bullets to fly! Then BAM! Shot, hit, officer down. OTHER cops who were for some reason standing by take up their jobs again and shoot this [deleted] down on the sidewalk (with a few prominent misses, I'd hate to see what the store looked like inside!)

    My (loud) commentary when the climax comes in the video below:
    "SUNOVABICH! You couldnt see that comin?"

    Here you are dialoggin for TWO MINUTES before YOU end up shot? And you SIR'd this [deleted]? You need to SHOOT this [deleted].



    Hat tip: The Things Worth Believing In

    No Posting

    Nothing yesterday. Busy getting ready for an upcoming road trip. Now it's bed time again again.

    Thursday, April 28, 2011

    That Didn't Take Long. Birth Cert is an Obvious Bad Fake.

    The Birth Certificate the President at long-last produced? The one I said yesterday I would believe until it was proved a fake? This one (whitehouse.gov .pdf file)?

    The certificate presented the other day and (as yet) still available for public download was clearly, drastically edited and left in an editable state when they posted the image as a .pdf document. As someone who uses does image editing work all day every day, let me tell you this is NOT a requirement for saving a scan of a photocopy.

    The way it is very clearly altered makes this not only a forgery but a bad job of one at that. Click the link in the last sentence, click the .pdf file link, and zoom in for yourself. See if you don't find what he saw, on the original. This is not a lone kook saying this . . . there are at least two kooks with professional image software on their computers imagining the same thing. That second kook has a video showing you what you would never see if a) this were a skillful forgery or b) you didn't have Illustrator on your computer. It's 3 mintues, go ahead and watch it. If you have 10 minutes more, here is another fellow who went down a slightly different rabbit hole and shot a video showing beyond a doubt in a different way that this document was clearly altered.

    Besides which, it LOOKS like it was edited, even at a glance, to a novice. Look at the image at whitehouse.gov I linked at the top of this post. Why does all the lettering have a white halo around it? Look at the left side of the page - why does the background fade to dark as if a book had been scanned, then brighten up to fill the screen? It has CLEARLY at least been taken from a simple scan and pasted on this background. WHY THE [deleted] would they do that? Why not just present a straight image of the Official Photocopy of The Document for the world to see*? Why did they alter the document presented for public release?

    *if, in fact, such a document exists.
    ********

    Registrar is U K L Lee: Playing a ukelele in hawaii, get it? Funny, right? Haha, joke's on America we pawned off a fake birth certificate! Take that, Trump!

    The World: Gone Mad!

    A couple of random Chinese tourists were walking around in UK and heard sumdood singing Kung Fu Fighting in a pub. They were offended at this blatant racism, summoned the Police, and the singer was arrested.

    Superman (the comic book hero) says (in the cartoon) he's tired of being perceived as a tool of the government and renounces his US Citizenship

    A surgeon at the top of his field (President of the American College of Surgeons, inventor, super-genius and possibly a huge stud) makes a passing reference to a scientific study and is forced to resign. The study says having unprotected sex makes women less depressed, and is Actual Legitimate Science, but apparently the chicks at Surgery News need to [content redacted] a little more and maybe lighten up a little. Bonus points to this story for legitimate use of the term richly vascularized vagina

    ********
    (only one link was provided for three stories, because let's be honest - you were clicking on vagina regardless, so why bother putting a link to a comic book or a police arrest story?)

    Just Keep It To Yourself

    A fine illustration of a general principle: Keep your thoughts to yourself!

    My Darling Wife was generous enough to allow me to vacuum out her car. I went to the garage to get a vacuum, and the cord was tangled with a bunch of miscellany on the floor. To express my pleasure at untangling the cord, I sang a fun little song quietly, under my breath. Because this is a full-size vacuum and I like what remains of my hearing, I had already donned my hearing protection so I would have it with me when the vacuum was running (vs. forgetting it in the garage).

    The tune: the Chicken Dance. The words: fuckin fuckin fuckin fuck, fuckin fuckin fuckin fuck, fuckin fuckin fuckin fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck (etc.) What I was saying: "effin effin effin eff, effin effin effin eff, effin effin effin eff, eff eff eff eff." Alluva sudden, my spidey senses went off and I turned around in the silence of my earmuffs, to see said Darling Wife coming in to the garage. Had I been singing what I was thinking, I would have had some 'splainin' to do. As is, I don't think she even heard it. Good success.

    For those of you in the military or business worlds, this helps also. When you would like to turn the air blue with invective against someone who is telling you what to do, smile with your mouth, and lock down your voice - while you cuss them out from behind your eyes in silence if you feel like it. Then at the appropriate moment you say "Yes, SIR!" and go do what you must.

    Wednesday, April 27, 2011

    Second Verse, Same as the First

    Headline under President Bush: Former CIA chief to head the Department of defense
    Headline under President Obama: Former CIA chief to head the Department of defense

    Change you can believe in!

    Obama Releases Birth Certificate! (?)

    The Official From-the-horse's-mouth Birth Certificate has been issued forth from the throne of his highness the Obama. I leave it in more capable hands to see if this one is as genuine as the last one they acknowledged as genuine. Perhaps the forgery is good enough to be accepted. Perhaps it is real. What is beyond question is that, barring some very convincing disclosure of this certificate being fraudulent, this issue is settled. Several million dollars later and several years too late, but it is settled. Feel free to insert jokes about slow shipping from the Mexican document forgery house at this time.

    Do you really believe it VFD? You'll lay off now?

    Unless it comes out as a verifiable fake, then yes I believe it. The timing even fits his massive ivory tower ego. During the campaign last time none of his handlers let him know this was a problem, and he did not release the certificate. Until he began to campaign again, it remained not only not a problem for President Obama, it was a useful distraction from the Socialism he was cramming down our throats. But NOW! Now, you see, he is running for the Presidency again. And, critically, he is possibly going to be facing down one of the richest, most famous men in the country, and THAT guy is calling attention to the "birther" controversy. This issue is costing the Dear President in the polls! It is hurting his numbers! Quick, do something! Demonize him! Wait, that didn't work. Release the form then! Release it! Make the issue go away!!!1!

    And theeeere you have it. When it becomes an apparent political (let alone morals!) necessity, the certificate comes out. The Donald is justifiably proud at having forced this move.

    ********

    One of the local talk show callers said now Trump needs to push for John Kerry to release his 1st DD-214. The one that shows if or not he was dishonorably discharged and therefore a Felon
    As well as why he has an illegal upgrade to a very-high award on his published DD214
    And why he is supposedly authorized FOUR combat stars on his Vietnam Service Medal despite being present for only TWO combat campaigns . . . as stated on the extremely-unusual Form DD215 attached to his record.

    Tuesday, April 26, 2011

    EPA: Excluding Production Ability

    More oil than has ever flowed through the Alaskan oil pipeline (cumulative) is sitting under the sea off the coast of BFE, Alaska. President Obama does not care for you to have cheap oil (and therefore cheap gasoline) so the oil is now being held just out of reach.

    The oil company spent $4B getting ready to go on this oil, but their environmental impact report failed to take into account the pollution generated by an icebreaking ship, so EPA says they can't drill for the oil at all.

    Don't be surprised.

    Regarding Muslim People

    VFD, how do you feel about muslims? You talk about them alot, but what do you really think?

    I love them, just like Jesus does. And I wish they would change to a religion that does not send them to Hell for eternity. When it comes to temporal affairs where the rubber meets the road, I have no problem with 99.73% of the people who call themselves moslems in America because they are (according to their prophet) Hypocrites. They are worse than the infidel, according to Mohammed.

    Wait, what?

    Mohammed invented islam. He says he was visited by an angel of God. Having read through the Koran, the Sunnah, and the Hadith, as well as the Bible, I can say categorically that the God of the Bible and the alleged god of the Quran are NOT the same person. If I know someone named John and you also know someone named John, but my fellow is short, fat, black, and balding and your fellow is tall, trim, white, and has a lush head of blonde hair, are they the same guy? Yes, if the god of the koran is the God of the Bible. Mohammed invented islam, and then gathered an army to fight under the banner of his god. He led dozens of war raids against peaceful neighboring cities because they had money and other assests that he wanted. He was a murderer and a leader of murderers. He had a wife who was NINE years old, and others who were taken after their husbands were murdered; he was a rapist. He took the goods belonging to other people from towns and caravans he raided; he was a THIEF. He invented a religion that was false, and said it was alright for his followers to lie to promote the cause; he was a LIAR.

    THAT guy is the ideal example of how a moslim should live their life, according to islam. If you claimed to believe in allah but did NOT go out on Jihad with him, he said you were an hypocrite and worse than an infidel. They were going out to kill the infidel, so you can imagine he had a pretty low opinion of those who claimed to be islamic but did not go out and "do likewise." It should be very little surprise then, that around the world where children are trained to read so they can read the koran, and they memorize that book and are brainwashed to believe it, we have wars ongoing where in every case one of the sides is islamic.

    But in America they don't fight the infidel (much). They don't preach hate against their neighbors (much). Mostly, if you meet a muslim in America, he will be just as nice a person as the next random name in the phone book. THESE people are Hypocrites to Islam. The faitful muslims on the planes on 9/11 had no problem killing any "hypocrite" muslims who may have been in the Twin Towers because they were just as much "fair game" as the rest of the infidels. If someone wears a veil, it says nothing about them but that they are modest. Even the hijab, arguably a derogatory cultural "feature" is no cause for alarm. Your "moslem" neighbor you have barbecues with is okay.

    If they won't touch you with the right hand, that is when you might start to worry. If someone comes at me with a knife, muslim or not, brown or not, he will be receiving some violence. How do I feel about muslims? I pity them all, and the ones who wish to destroy my country and kill me, I don't mind having my Marines kill them back.

    Monday, April 25, 2011

    Insurance Makes Medical Care MORE Expensive!

    Some people look at me like I just grew a third eyeball when I tell them the main reason health care is so expensive in the USA is that everyone has health care payment insurance. Perhaps an illustration will serve to enlighten those who do not so well with theoretical arguments:

    A surgeon who tried to lower costs (like by HALF) was resisted at every turn by a system that only wanted to do what the system does because that is how the system does it. Which system? The current one, an incestuous mashup of hospitals and insurance companies. Click the link and have your understanding enlightened.

    Don't be Surprised!

    Do not be surprised at anything that comes down from the government after they elected a Socialist to President of the United States.


    Literally anything could be proposed or even enacted, and it ought not to be a surprise. Socialism and America are incompatible but that does not stop the Socialists trying to "radially transform" the nation. The most extreme, outlandish proposal is barely worth mention, because they are very likely to be acting in-character.

  • Talking like deficit hawks while proposing record-large budget deficits? Don't be surprised.
  • They force you to buy an overpriced health insurance policy you don't want or need? Don't be surprised.
  • Labor department tells Boeing where they can build airplanes because Socialists prefer uninonists? Don't be surprised.

    One could basically recite national headline news in this fashion, ending each line with the same sentence. Nothing is beyond their desire for control over the lives of men. At every new insanity, write your Elected Heroes and let them know you are still paying attention to the little things. The next chance to really make a huge difference comes in November, 2012. What are you going to do about it?
  • Sunday, April 24, 2011

    Happy Resurrection Day

    Of all the holidays I celebrate, the day the Lord came back from the grave is one of the two (the other being my birthday) that we can know for sure the date we celebrate is correct within a day or two. It also has the distinction of being the only holiday that makes me smile a little bit just to think of the name.

    . . . which is not Easter, but if you say Happy Easter to me I won't lecture you about it right then ;)

    Saturday, April 23, 2011

    Great, Another Money Black Hole

    #1 and #2 have been in basic gymnastics training for a while now, and #2 is getting bored with the lack of challenge caused by the need to keep pace with the slowest learner in class. I have been looking all evening for a local Aikido dojo in which to enroll him (and probably his sister as well). Wouldn't you know that Aikido training STARTS at twice as expensive as gymnastics?

    Well anyhow, that's why no blogging: busy looking for another way to empty my wallet more quickly!

    Friday, April 22, 2011

    Too Much Is Never Enough

    To go back to spending that was adequate during the administration of the previous President of the USA? Too much! Ridiculous! You want to kill women! You want to have old people eat dog food or starve!

    Or, maybe, just maybe, the Tea Party types would like to not be paying a TRILLION dollars every year just to pay interest on the national debt? The Ryan budget proposal, by the way, only gets us down to 2/3 of a trillion, and that somehow, to me, doesn't quite cut the mustard.

    But this here, as Mish says, is the proof of the pudding, showing that Ryan's $4T/10year budget cuts are nowhere near going far enough:



    THIS is why the Tea Party sprung up as a true "grass roots" movement. Would you like to owe our neighbors and enemies $26T? howabout $23T? No? Then you need to be talking $12T/10year budget cuts, or you are wasting our time. See you in November, 2012.

    Pastor Does Not Speak, Still Achieves Goal!

    We all know that since Mohammed made it up, insulting islam is a capitol (read: they kill you for it) offense. So some people are afraid of mentioning that radical islamists would like to take over and destroy our current government and replace it with one incompatible with both United States tradition and Christianity.

    Not this guy. He may be a bit abrasive but he believes his message is worth rubbing people the wrong way.



    So he wanted to speak across the street from the biggest mosque in the country. He and one other man. The local authorities got their panties in a twist and told him he had to post a Peace Bond because a sheet of paper will stop a riot right there on the spot. He refused, went to court, and was JAILED until he obeyed the court order to pay the $1. A Jury said him TALKING would pose a threat to peace*.

    In my opinion: It is His Right to stand on public property and peaceably speak. He is being oppressed.

    • If a media circus develops when he speaks, is it his fault? No, it is the fault of the people who show up.
    • If violence breaks out, is it his fault? No, it is the fault of the perpetrators of the violence.
    • If he gets shot? Well I guess that pretty well proves he is right.
    The fun part is, he wanted to call attention to his point: radical islamists want to institute sharia in the USA. If they had ignored him down at City Hall, about five passers-by would have heard his message. Now EVERYONE watching the news has both heard his message and seen how the local government and citizenry cower in fear before the mighty intimidation of islam. Unless they watch CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, etc. in which case they likely saw that a crazy person was forbidden from intentionally causing a murderous riot.
    "Mr. Jones has been made as a martyr for free speech" -Dawud Walid, Excecutive Director, Council on American-Islamic Relations, Michigan chapter

    The mouthpiece for an unindicted co-conspirator in terrorist attacks in the name of islam agrees with Pastor Jones? Yes, but for a slightly different reason. Walid says they should have let him talk to prove to the world that there would have been no riots in Darborn. But now the world will never know. What we know instead is that everyone is afraid even to mention that we are afraid of moslems killing people for saying words that go against them. If islamists were as harmless as Christians tend to be, this would not have been a problem. At all, ever.

    ********

    You can't yell fire in a crowded theater. It is illegal because one expects the moviegoers will stampede for the door. What does it say about islam that it is illegal for this man to calmly speak about the radical side of that "religion?"

    Jolly Ranchers Hard Candy is DEEEEEElicious!

    That is all.

    Thursday, April 21, 2011

    Photoshop Pro Tip: Prevent Accidental File Closing or Alteration

    Sometimes I will have dozens of images open in Adobe Photoshop all at once. Sometimes I go to change something in an image and it changes the wrong image because I did not notice I had the wrong image selected. Much, much worse, sometimes I go to close one file by using the keyboard shortcut (Ctrl-W, then N) and I accidentally close the file I am working on, instead of closing the throw-away image where I got part of the picture I am making. This is an absolute pisser. Having accidentally deleted (by closing) an image with FIVE layers each comprising a previously-edited image, today I decided to do something about it.

    The reason I would not notice which window was open is that the stock Windows color scheme uses an inoffensive blue title bar for the active window. I decided to change to a high-visibility color schme. Behold:

    (Click the image to see it full size)
    Photobucket

    Which window is active? On which image is Photoshop focused? Gee, I wonder . . .

    The original problem is inattentiveness, and that problem will still get you on the wrong window every once in a while but it is much easier to see where you should be looking when you wake up and realize you are off somewhere.

    I Gots To Get Me One Of Them!

    Austin, pushing a hundred million dollars short on next year's budget, just approved $4.4M to buy 176 Ford Crown Victorias. To be specific, they are probably Police Interceptor trim variants. At $25,000 each, that is a pretty good price and it is a relative STEAL if they are getting them with full patrol car kit (lights, paint, electronics, gun racks, cages, etc.) but don't be surprised if we only see THAT bill come in later.

    And really, $4.4M isn't so much. They are talking about spending a BILLION-THREE on a rail line that nobody will use, and $50M on frivolous school junk! :shrug: well at least you'll be able to ride in the cars you are paying for, right? I mean, if you ask the right way, they will let you ride in the front . . . ask the wrong way, and they will make you ride in the back! :D

    Wednesday, April 20, 2011

    No, You Can't.

    If a Policeman has a good reason to search your car, your car will be searched whether you like it or not. If he does NOT have a good reason, he will ask you to provide one.

    "Do you have any guns or drugs in the car?"
    "Do you have anything dangerous or illegal in the car with you?"
    "Do you have any weed in there?"

    This is called "fishing" and it is Good Police Work. More felons than you could count have volunteered probable cause for a legitimate search by answering "Yes" when they didn't have to.

    "Will you please step out of the car?"
    "Can I have a quick look at your phone?"
    "Will you open the trunk for me?"

    The answer is always "No." If they can legally make you do it, they will TELL you, not ask you.

    "I'll have to call in a K-9 unit then" is properly answered "Go ahead, I'll call my boss and tell him I'm going to be late, then I'll be reading my newspaper."

    You do NOT have to give a COP your cell phone if he stops you for speeding. If you do, and he sticks it on the CellBrite UFED and rapes right through the passwords to download all your kiddie porn pics, underage sexting, deleted emails, etc. off your phone, you get to say BUBKIS about it in court because you volunteered to give it up.

    Well, When You Put It That Way

    The government of the United States, under the pretext of preventing guns going to Mexico, allowed guns to go to Mexico and into the hands of narco-terrorists. Hundreds (thousands?) of people died, and that includes two US Federal agents, by being shot with these guns.

    Now there is an investigation. The BATFE is stonewalling as always, but Darrell Issa is not going to blink. I knew it was bad, but then Vanderboegh raised the point and he is right:

    If the feds allow straight-up felonies and murder, and nothing happens to the "law enforcement agents" responsible, what use is the current system of government? We get 50% of our money taken in taxes to do things in the least efficient way possible, and they can't even not MURDER people? SRSLY? What use is a ballot box if this is what comes out the other side? Every. Single. Time.

    One more reason we may not survive even the first term of an Obama Presidency. A second would have at least even odds of destroying the country in a way even the audience of American Idle would understand.

    Oh Well, There's Always The Next Election . . .

    In Nigeria the Christian candidate won the election. The Muslim population accepted it peacefully and went about their lives, promising themselves privately that the next election would see their preferred candidate voted into office, due to their diligent efforts before the ballot is cast.

    Oh, wait. No, they didn't, the moslems are rioting and murdering people because the election didn't go their way. Because, you see, Islam is only a religion of peace after you establish the worldwide Caliphate. Until then, war.

    More Like This, Please.

    The HMFIC at Taylor Bean was convicted and is looking at up to life behind bars. He lost billions of dollars of other peoples' money, and helped precipitate the housing crisis in America. When chief executives at big companies can go to jail for their companies' doing wrong, they have a personal stake in seeing their companies do right. Here's hoping more of them get the message that being a crook is not okay.

    Not Even Once.

    You know what methamphetamine can do to you? For most people, the first time you do meth, it makes your wallet lighter by the cost of one hit. For some people, it can turn you from being the head law enforcement officer in your region to being arrested for being a meth dealer. It can be addictive the first time you use it, and it can alter your judgment so the most outlandish things you do will seem perfectly sensible. Your life can go very fast, very far down hill before you recover. IF you recover.

    Russian Roulette, Putting your head in a crocodile's mouth, and Methamphetamine have one thing in common: unacceptably-high risk of destroying your life the very first time, or making it much worse than it used to be without a way back to good.

    Tuesday, April 19, 2011

    Madness @ Work

    One of the men at work is a standout in that he takes somewhat more-stringent-than-normal measures to prevent himself being in contact with other peoples' funky germs. For this post, we'll call him Germ Buddy (GB). I had thought this near-germophobia was common knowledge, but Listing Buddy didn't know. Well, LB found out today.

    There is a sink where everybody washes their funky hands on the way to lunch or before/after they go to the pisser. LB cleaned the handle on the paper towel dispenser over the sink, dried it, cleaned it, and dried it again, and waited. Presently GB happened along, and LB told him to watch as he demonstrated the proper way to dispense paper towels. LB proceeded to grab the handle on the paper towel dispenser with is mouth and crank out some towels.

    GB was duly disgusted and said so in no uncertain terms "most disgusting thing I've ever seen!" was part of the ensuing dialogue. LB wondered if he had ever been on the Internet.

    Ha
    ha
    ha!

    People Who Will Be Shot: A Whole Boatload!

    The anti-capitalist pigs on the fancy-pants fast boat on the show Whale Wars are going to be shot dead for their piracy one of these days. I'm not calling for it, I'm calling it: wait for it . . . .

    Monday, April 18, 2011

    Ouch.

    Greek debt yield tops 20%. So, how's that economy thing coming along, Greece? America, do you have anything to say about a government spending too much on the Welfare State?

    One hardly knows whether to believe or not, when the Greek government denies talks of restructuring. Stay tuned, I guess. Just remember: the Greek riot at the drop of a hat, so riots in Greece are less impressive than (say) riots in Ireland.

    Warm Mist Vaporizer: Hot. Don't Touch.

    I TOLD You: HOT, Don't TOUCH!

    ********

    Aaaaaand that is how you prevent burns with small children. #4 is 9 months old and already working on "No." as a stimulant for instant retraction of an extended hand. By the time they are old enough to walk around, most trained children are smart enough to avoid burning themselves badly by being allowed to burn themselves just a little, under careful parental supervision.

    We have a BBQ pit with a big metal dome lid exactly at toddler-hand height, and it gets hot as [deleted] when there is a meal on. ALL our children got a first degree burn on their hands. NONE of them got three first degree burns, but the boys were stubborn enough to get two, each. We warn them when it is hot, and they give it a wide berth. When it is cold, they bang the top with sticks, and make me redo the brick-work by ramming it with the Power Wheels Jeep.

    When a child is old enough to understand "NO" and knows to retreat from painful stimuli, teach them about the dangers of a steam vaporizer. " The light tells you it is hot. The stuff coming up tells you it is hot. Put your hand over it and you will feel it is hot." This routine scared my children enough to make them balk at putting their hand in the steam. I put my hand in the steam a foot up and said "It's okay up here" and moved the hand down, pulling it away rapidly where the steam started getting warm "HOT." They needed some encouragement, but then they would find out first-hand that the steam gets REALLY HOT right by the exhaust of the vaporizer. THEN you know what we had a problem with?

    Nothing. They don't touch it because it's [deleted] HOT and they know it! Put the thing where they won't accidentally trip over it, where they won't roll out of bed onto it, and generally where they won't come into accidental contact with the steam. Then enjoy the warm, moist air.

    Cool mist or warm? Warm!

    Bonus: no grotty slime to clean out, just a bit of hard water scale whenever we feel like cleaning it . . . also no STINK.

    Sunday, April 17, 2011

    Might Fine Detective Work There, Lou!

  • A woman stopped to fill up her car on the way to get her mother, to take mommy dearest to hospital.
  • She was arrested for leaving the filling station without paying for her gas.
  • She was released several hours later after the four week-old footage revealed she actually had paid.
  • In the meantime her car was stolen. Police were quick to say they had no liability*.
  • Turns out, the clerk had told Police they were looking for a MAN but that never made it onto the reports.
  • Good job, Essex. Way to make Policemen everywhere appear totally incompetent!
  • Update: Me Too

    Remember I said everybody but me in the family was getting down with the sickness? Yeah, me too. It didn't help that I*, excellent husband that I am, let her go to bed early and stay till she was done this morning. Rest is a key ingredient for health and I missed out on mine two days running. She fit the pattern of feeling really bad and waking up sweaty, having broken a fever over the course of a long nap. I** made it a short nap, but I was feeling at about 2% for a while there before I went to bed.

    ********

    *Yes I am an excellent husband. What, I shouldn't be honest about a good thing? Don't be jealous! If you don't like your husband, read a copy of the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. If you really want to do your marriage up right, after that read Created to be His Help Meet.

    **Thank God I seem to have got off light with this sickness. I am happy to say I seem to get most diseases to a lesser extent than those around me, if I catch them at all! We'll see how tomorrow goes under the fluorescents at work.

    ********

    Edited to Add:
    The smoke from the West Texas fires has blown over Central Texas . . . not helping with my Darling Wife's sensitivity to smoke . . . and Sarah Mims found that smoke sometimes carries fungal spores with it (in addition to bacteria which was already known), which will surely also not-help :(

    Really, This Guy?

    A few years ago, the Democrats were saying how crappy a leader he must be. An investigation found him derelict in his duty, even. Now the Democrats in Texas want us to forget all that and elect him to the Senate? I guess they took a page from the Republican playbook (to be specific: page 23214 Selecting Winning Candidates, subheading: John McCain can Dooo Eeeet Because He Is A Vetrin).

    This is 2011. We have the Internets to remember things for us now; this sort of candidate is damaged goods right off the bat.

    . . . but then I remember who they got for President last time . . .

    Saturday, April 16, 2011

    Intercultural Understanding

    If you want to really, really strongly reinforce your stereotypes about Germans, or perhaps you want to learn what you, as an Ami should know before spending a long time in Germany, reading the old articles at Nothing for Ungood is an amusing place to do it.

    The recommendation is to start with this post and then click through all the Newer Entries.

    My two favorites: Don't Learn German (with charts supporting the thesis), and also this post where I learned Bavaria = Texas.

    Hat tip: Sailor Curt

    Fighting It

    I am not sure what it is, but my whole family (self gratefully excepted) is fighting something. They are at least being polite about it and taking turns, but today was my Darling Wife's turn to feel tired and achey, with nausea and . . . worse. Staying up with #3 and #4 last night didn't help either of us, but I can make do with less sleep than she, so it was REALLY hard on her.

    Christians, please pray for us. I am sure it is temporary (!) and pretty sure it is minor, but is really sucks, whatever it is.

    Friday, April 15, 2011

    Busy. No Blogging.

    A decade or so worth of Do-It-Yourself threads at my favorite Hyundai message board were converted to a new format with the rest of the board . . . and the code is all broken. I'm going through and finding the old threads and manually correcting the links. This will take a while.

    Thursday, April 14, 2011

    Quote of the Day 04/14/2011

    When moonbats talk about rights, a concept beyond their comprehension, they are actually talking about tyranny. -Van Helsing


    We were just talking today at work about some country in Northern Europe making this a law, and here Moonbattery is on the same topic.

    Internet access is NOT a human right, nor even much of a privilege. IF you have a house AND IF you have electricity in your house AND IF you have a place to stow it where it won't be stolen AND IF you have a computer AND IF you have some telecom link to the rest of the world AND IF it would be of some use to you, personally, THEN you might have a case for saying you WANT internet access.

    RIGHTS are enforceable against the government of your local jurisdiction. If (as is the most likely case) eventually the UN says camel jockeys in BFE have a RIGHT to internet access then they have the attendant rights to all the other stuff you need to get internet access. The USA pays the bills at the UN. This means: The USA must pay for third-world ingrates to have electricity, computers, internet access . . . because it is a RIGHT!

    ********

    This comes disturbingly close on the heels of a proposed UN treaty giving everything else on the planet the same rights as people. Trial lawyers, policemen, and government bureaucrats of course being the necessary exceptions, all you exploiting humans out there can just kill yourselves for the good of the planet.

    Life Planning

    Sometimes I think it would be nice if we got a TXT MSG from God every morning with instructions on what we should do that day. Then I realize we would just screw it up and not even have the excuse of not knowing what we were supposed to do . . . .

    Wednesday, April 13, 2011

    This Is Why I Never Shoot Gun Show Reloads

    At any gun show, you can find somebody selling bags of "once-fired" brass reloaded to spec. Bags of ammunition for cheap. You know what? I don't trust it 1/100th as far as I could throw it. I don't trust it as far as the next stall at the shooting range. I was ready to stop shooting when PB took me to the range at lunch, until he assured me that the mixed brass was of his reloading.

    Why? Because reloading is both a martial art and a form of meditation. The smallest slip-up in anything can mean you are dead and/or your gun is destroyed. Like this guy, who put pistol powder in a rifle case and did an outstanding job of blowing his AR right the [deleted] up. He was very fortunate to escape with only minor injuries.

    And you want to buy ammo from random sumdood at a show, to be gone the next day, said dude being of unknown skill with an unknown past? Pass.

    But do NOT pass on that link. Click it for some impressively bad KaBoom "after" photos.

    Obama's Speech on the Economy, Cliff's Notes:

    Photobucket

    It's Bush's fault and if you increase taxes it will all be all better because the economy is now in great shape! Here are a few straw-man arguments for the talk shows to discuss!

    God willing, it will be President Obama who is blamed for cutting the 2/3 of the budget that is non-discretionary entitlement spending.

    Reduce deficit by $4T in 10 years? Why, that Ryan plan "leads to a fundamentally different America than the one we've known" - whatever happened to "radically transforming" the country?

    "These cuts tell us we can't afford the America I believe in" That's correct, you socialist! Class war-mongering blah blah "The America I Know," translation: I learned about it in left-wing ivory-tower high-dollar elite college settings from America-hating professors, because unlike you people I did not grow up here.

    $4T over 12 years . . . obviously way better, NOW it's time to listen to the deficit commission. Every kind of spending on the table? We'll see about that. I guess this week is different than last week's "Nope, zero."

    "Win the future" . . . that is his re-election campaign slogan and this is a CAMPAIGN SPEECH!

    Further reduce healthcare spending . . . by cutting out capitalism? Reducing the cost of healthcare . . . like by reducing what services are provided as in England? Price controls leading to shortages?

    "I refuse to renew them again." Could you sound any MORE like a petulant child? Reform the tax code so it is fair and simple? You mean, like the Fair Tax? (as if!)

    Note that reducing the deficit $4T in 12 years puts us over $8T further in the hole, up to owing, as a nation, $22T!

    Washington hasn't asked the wealthiest Americans to pay more taxes, but they want to! *ahem* nobody asked ME what I wanted to happen to MY taxes, and it doesn't mean bubkis if YOU WANT a tax cut or not.

    "Can't just think about ourselves" . . . You greedy people want to keep more than a third of the money you make.

    This is a rerun of his first campaign for President: highly disingenuous, short on substance, well-read off a teleprompter. Garbage. STILL a lightweight/empty suit.

    Tuesday, April 12, 2011

    You Suck, Georgia.

    The whole State. ALL of you. There is no other explanation for this idiocy than that Georgia, and Georgians, SUCK.

    What assclown thinks pseudoephedrine should be a pharmacy-only drug? Why, that would be ALL of Georgia, in Congress assembled in the form of their Elected Heroes. Sudafed is necessary for life if you (like 96.9% of Central Texans) have or have had a cold, or allergies, or both at once and are teething as has happened to (to date) all of my children old enough to have teeth. For those who missed it, my first-and-longest rant on the topic of restricting sales of pseudoephedrine is here

    Motorcycle Racing Coming To Austin!

    Motorcycle racing pwns even F1 for being a thrill to watch, which is why I am sometimes surprised at the relative success of NASCAR over Moto GP. Well, Moto GP is coming to the taxpayer raping planned Circuit of the Americas* Formula 1 track in near Austin, Texas. It is hoped that this will do big things for the popularity of motorcycle racing; instead of watching crash cages make left turns all day, I'll be able to see some guys in leather suits go flying into the gravel. Uh, I mean, racing. It's all about the sport, not the crashes. Right. Racing, not crashes. Right.

    This stadium is stupid. I protest that we are being made to pay for it. But (as Onassis said) "If you're gonna to be raped you might as well enjoy it," and Moto GP will make this track more enjoyable. Especially if they have public track days . . . .

    ********
    *Let's hope this name is rather less pretentious in practice than it sounds.

    Might Fine Detective Work There, Lou!

    What did I JUST say about the ability of government agents to keep your personal data secure? Granted, there is a gap between 3.5 Million Texans and 150 Million Americans, but for the one person who has a second full-time job clearing up their stolen identity, it is a distinction without a difference.

    So far as anyone officially "knows" nobody's identity was compromised. Those who received notices, however, would still be well advised to put a freeze on their credit with the major reporting agencies, now that it is free and warranted.

    Just In Time For The Double-Dip

    My position all along has been one of expectant waiting for the world's economy to fall again, as part of the cycle that started when America's housing bubble burst. Well talk of Recession is starting to simmer again, and what do you know, Australia's party is now Officially Over according to Mish.

    Re-Recession: coming soon to an economy near you!

    Monday, April 11, 2011

    Hi Officer Friendly!

    At this rate I'll know all the Davesville evening shift COPs by name before the year is out. The FOURTH policeman to ask me if I was alright did so tonight. Maybe I need to send them a letter:

    10-43 Re: white male, brown hair with beard, wearing red t-shirt, blue jeans, black shoes. If you see this individual sweating and panting on the sidewalk, and he is not bleeding, he is catching his breath. Negative medical assistance required.

    You know what would be fun?

    If, you know, it weren't a crime?
    Next time someone suggests I go on food stamps or WIC to pay for my child-rearing expenses, I break out my pistol and put it to their head:

    VFD: GIMME ALL YO MUNNY FOO!
    Them: WTF?!
    VFD: LOL just kidding, but why is it better when the State does it?

    Sunday, April 10, 2011

    What The H---! Wait, What?

    We were driving home from church and #4 (9 months old) had two race cars that were generously provided by #3 (3 years old) to play with/slobber on. #3 wanted one of them back, and he was asking #4 if he could please have one of the racecars. I told #3 that #4 doesn't speak English and didn't understand him, to which #3 replied: "What the hell!"

    .
    .
    .

    Thoughts were briefly collected and we asked him to repeat himself. We had been going down a big hill and he (with the attention span of a gnat) got distracted by the terrain. "Look, a hill" coming from his little mouth did NOT come out properly. Nobody else in the car understood why the parents were laughing so hard.

    Saturday, April 9, 2011

    Handyman Gets The Bonus

    In the past couple of months, I was given a couple of thousands of dollars worth of equipment which had been reduced to scrap status due to various problems. Thanks Jesus I have the ability to affect repairs on electronics! Now we have a new computer with a legit copy of Windows 7 (ugh, but it says something about the hardware), a 22" widescreen LCD monitor, a fast little laser printer, and a 26" LCD HDTV. Total cost: several hours of repair time and $0 out of pocket.

    I would never have bought these things, but they came to me and I am grateful.

    Friday, April 8, 2011

    Genius: Chiappa M9-22 M-9 Lookalike .22LR Pistol

    There are millions of men in America who took their lives in their own hands, at the same time they had an M-9 on their hip/thigh/chest/wherever. Those men can now have a plinker that will have a warm fuzzy (or at least cold-but-familiar) place in their hearts: The Chiappa M9-22 which looks like and is the same size as the Beretta 92 you know and hated to love, but fires .22 Long Rifle instead of super high pressure NATO 9mm ball. MSRP reportedly around $400. Win.



    Hat tip: Uncle and The Firearm Blog

    On Taking Trash To Boehner's House

    Because the Democrats failed their constitutional duty to pass a budget last year (it being an election year) it is somehow the Republicans' fault the government will shut down. So take your trash to Boehner's house?

    You government-schooled idiots.

    Madness @ Work

    There was a little mix-up about being clocked in and it turned funny.

    NP came in to work and was immediately asked to do something by the Pit Boss. He got hot on the case and worked like a fiend for five minutes, then realized he had not clocked in for the day. He clocked in, then went and took back those five minutes by sucking on a cancer stick.

    PB came out and told him to clock back in when he came in from the smoke pit. He had clocked NP out. This was the lesser of two punishments. Company Owner #1 has an office window overlooking the smoke pit and the General Manager had wanted to send NP home for the day without pay to teach him a lesson. I told NP he could have used the day to find himself another job.

    VFD: (as prospective future employer) So, Mr. NP, why did you leave your last job?
    VFD: (as NP): Well, they sent me home without pay for smoking on the clock, and I didn't appreciate not being able to smoke cigarettes on company time.
    NP: LOL (in fake hurt voice) Shut up!
    VFD: LOL

    Anger at Welfare Recipients May Be Unjustified (so don't be angry at 'em)

    ~or~ Welfare the Cat as an Analog for 49% of Americans
    ********

    This is Welfare the Cat.
    Photobucket

    She is a kitty that lives where I work. Every time I see her, I have to remind myself: being mad at her is dumb, because she is a cat and cannot think for herself.

    Since she was a kitten, she was fed by the employees. Possibly she also goes out and gets her own food, but there is no need and I never saw her with a mouse or a roach in her mouth. One day I realized she was getting fat and blamed the employees for over feeding her. Then I realized she was gravid and I named her Welfare the Cat. She has no husband, but she was going to have children, who would also be totally supported by the productive efforts of someone else. Then they took her to the vet, killed the kittens before they were born and sterilized the cat. There will be no more cats in the Welfare family, and her burden to society is limited to what she will take.

    The analogy is not perfect. Current welfare brood mares don't kill (all) their children before they are born, because they get paid more the more children they drop. There is moral outrage when someone suggests even temporary sterilization of recipients of taxpayer-funded handouts. Forced sterilization is something we conflate with Nazism and the Communists in China.
    But those are people, and this is a cat. People should be able to think for themselves and aspire for their own benefit to greatness. A cat cannot think for herself. A welfare babymomma does not think for herself, at least not to the extent that she realizes she is actually harming herself and her progeny, as well as society and her neighbors individually. But to be angry at the fat black lady with eight kids in a shack in the ghetto is a waste of energy, just as much as it is a waste of energy to be mad at a brown tabby cat for being feral. The woman was 99.99995% certainly "educated" in government schools, and society has set up the circumstances in which she lives. She is to blame, but only part way. The rest of the blame falls

    on Democrats.

    Thursday, April 7, 2011

    Funny Tutorial Is Funny, Shows How To Do Magic

    My camera does not shoot RAW images, and it does not have a provision to set the white point, aside from a gross "this should be white" white point adjustment two menu levels deep. My shooting lights are usually off to save 600 Watts of electricity AND to save the 35 hour life-rated bulbs burning out too quickly. This leaves me with a shifty color balance as the lamps warm up which I have to correct sometimes even from one shot to the next. Thankfully, Photoshop is magic and I can do that a few different ways.

    I have long wondered, however, why there was no simple way to pick a spot on my random .jpg images and say "Computer, this is your White Balance Point." Well it turns out there is and I never knew it. This will save me (and several of my co-workers, to whom I sent the tutorial link) a bit of post-processing time. Many, many thanks to Switch on the Code for posting this tutorial.

    You People Fail At Science.

    A skeleton was found buried without any sex-specific artifacts, in a very old grave. Women in the decedent's culture were buried facing the same direction as this dead body was facing. No DNA testing has been done on the bones. It is not always easy to determine sex from visual examination of bare human skeletal remains. What is the obvious conclusion any high-quality scientist will certainly draw from this find?

    GAY/TRANSGENDER/3rd SEX SKELETON FOUND IN CZECH REPUBLIC!!!!1!

    Quote of the day: "To state unequivocally that this individual was a homosexual or heterosexual transvestite, or indeed anything else, on the available evidence is at best somewhat speculative and at worst sensationalistic," -James Adovasio, executive director, Mercyhurst Archaeological Institute

    When I first heard of this story, I had two immediate reactions: "Talk about your arguments from silence," and, "What do you want to bet the scientist that made this amazing "discovery" is a queer?"

    I will be glad to ROFL if they get around to DNA testing and find XX instead of XY in the bones. You know what? Some chicks have skinny hips. Some of them these days even look like dudes when they are ALIVE, fashion trends being what they are. To claim that this is a gay person's burial before knowing the corpse was male is the height of irresponsible sensationalistic reporting (in other words, the best way to get a fat research funding grant without having done anything significant). A more right-thinking individual would say "gee she has a narrow pelvic opening! Let's run some more tests before going public . . . "

    Of course there is also the possibility that we are not dealing with a right-thinking person. We could have a scientist who is herself queer, or a closeted queer, or bi/curious, who found an irrefutable way to project her sexual uncertainties onto a dead woman. We could have someone interested in promoting a queer lifestyle as an historical norm. We could have, in short, a lot of different ways the archeologists in this case are coming to silly conclusions based on moot evidence.

    Moderately-surprising in today's "reporting" is the way nobody seems to be questioning the idea that there were transgendered people 'way back when, who were accepted by society as such to the extent they were buried the wrong way. A third gender? Really? Find me three reputable scientific references to any such thing from prior to 1950, I dare you.

    Social Security Loses Laptop with 150 Million Identities On Hard Drive

    For the record, if it means ending the Social Security ponzi scheme altogether, I am for stopping paper statements being sent to all enrollees. If it just means putting the statements online then not only am I against it, I have a fun concept for you:

    Let's say the government agency put in charge of data security at the Social Security website is from Detroit and they are selected on the basis of being BFFs with President Obama's golfing partner. They do as good a job with data security for Social Security as they did emptying the schools of all contents when the government schools in Detroit were closed.

    An 18 year-old hacker in Belarus spends five minutes wondering "Can it really be this simple?" and hacks straight into the database containing the Social Security numbers, addresses, names, dates of birth, etc. of everyone in America. EVERYONE has their identity compromised. EVERYONE has a credit rating of 243. NOBODY can get credit. The Social Security Administration tries to give everyone a new number but the damage is done. Nobody trusts them, plus the Tea Party activists convince the voting populace that the SSA was a scam anyhow. The whole idea is scrapped and a private retirement system for everyone is put in place that does not take 14% of all income (at gunpoint) and give it back at a -2% interest rate.

    Win?

    Wednesday, April 6, 2011

    Telephone Etiquette 101

    Here's a hint for you-know-who*

    When a phone call comes through for you, instead of asking who it is, what they want, what color their eyes are, or any other questions, say "Thank you" and take the phone from the person holding it out for you to grab. If that person is inclined towards rowdiness, ask them politely to keep it down for a minute.

    If you want to talk to the caller away from that location, it is fine for you to get a callback number and (for example) call them from your chair by the computer terminal.

    It is generally not considered to be polite to tell no-one you are making a phone call, and then scream at them when they are as loud as they are the other 99.94% of the time. Please try not to take offense if they hold up a personality mirror to you and holler right back and tell you that you are crazy.

    Please take careful note of the following images:

    This is how a sane person looks while talking on the telephone:

    Photobucket

    If you think you are around people like this:

    Photobucket

    The proper response is much more like this:
    Photobucket

    Than this:
    Photobucket


    This has been a public service announcement from your buddy VFD.
    Photobucket

    ********
    *If you don't know who, you get to use your imagination or project this onto the nearest insane-on-the-phone person you know. If you do know who, then there will be no need to explain the relationship of this post to recent events.

    Liar Liar Pants On Fire

    If I were drinking I'd have spit my drink on my computer screen at work. The soundbyte from the President said he the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up and the last thing he thinks about before going to bed is The Economy. He's so concerned about the economy he took off for vacation while they are debating the current budget bill.

    Please excuse my skepticism.

    Austin Likes Railroads

    . . . but not railroading people. There is a bill under consideration at the Capitol that stalled in the House after passing through the Senate last term. It has passed the Senate again and if they write it up properly I hope it flies straight through the House to the Governor's desk.

    If you are convicted and there is additional DNA evidence you think may exonerate you, you get to have it tested. The results that come back "unknown" get put against the FBI's database of Goblins. No more cases of "gee, we didn't think it was necessary to test the sperm we found inside that victim." Not only does this prove more powerfully the guilt of the guilty, it helps the innocent to walk free. As a side benefit (very small compared to the last two) it also prevents a few millions-of-dollars "oopsy! So sorry for ruining your life by falsely imprisoning you for a decade or two" awards when we find someone actually was innocent after we gave them two execution dates that never quite panned out (or worse, actually killing an innocent person!).

    Eye for Eye

    After full course of due process
    When convicted by a competent jury
    and PROVED guilty
    Duly sentenced by a judge after every last day in court . . .

    I am in favor of cruel and unusual punishment. In the case of dragging people to death they hook you up to a trailer hitch with a rope and start driving.

    Unusual? Anything the State does to punish an offender must be unusual or it is not a punishment. The other side of unusual is that it stands out and acts as a deterrent to future offenders.

    Cruel? Let the punishment fit the crime. The other side of cruel is that it stands out and acts as a deterrent to future offenders.

    Inhumane? Tell that to the girl who was dragged to death after they stole her computer.

    The State should not stoop to their level? Their level needs to be rubbed out with a nuclear bomb. Rape somebody to death, we have a machine to stand in for humans returning that favor. Beaten to death? I bet the family of the victim or the neighbors might step up to the plate. Cut a throat? Slit! Poisoned them, did you? How does it taste, baby?

    If the State is going to be religion-free, then it is at liberty to usurp God's rightful place as the executor of vengeance. God claims vengeance as his, but if you officially don't care, then somebody needs to avenge bloodguiltiness. Otherwise you get . . . what we have.

    NOTA BENE:

    This is not the way it is in America and it probably never will be. Until and unless this becomes The Way We Do Things, I'm for at least giving Old Sparky a workout every now and again.

    FINALLY Austin Police Testing On-Officer Cameras

    I hope they find them as useful as I think they will, and that the Austin Police Department ends up buying a camera to fit on every single officer in the field. SXSW as a testing venue was sheer genius. BZ to whoever thought that one up. Honorable mention goes to Chief Acevedo, who says he wants to hold off buying the cameras until they only cost a hand, vs. an arm and a leg, each.

    If I am a Policeman acting in good faith, I want a camera to back me up when a defendant brings in a lawyer whose hourly rate is my weekly rate. If I am an innocent falsely accused, I want that COP rolling film constantly. If I am a drunk ass in a fight or a race hustler trying to put a protection racket together, not so much.

    This is a positive good. Too bad it comes when Austin is totally out of money.

    Tuesday, April 5, 2011

    This News Is Bigoted.

    Not the reporting, the actual facts contained in the story. Reality itself is bigoted against gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered/etc. freaky people.

    It turns out that, if you are a queer, you have a much higher likelihood of ending up crazy, sickly, and lonely. That, of course, in addition to the very real previously-known health problems caused by/associated with queer sex.

    Your parts were designed, by a designer, to fill specific functions. Don't go using them in unapproved ways and you're statistically less likely to have mental and physical health problems, as well as more likely to not be alone.

    See? Bigoted. Statistics may not lie, but they sure can be politically-incorrect!

    Gateway M-6750 M6750 M-series Laptop Computer for Parts

    My next door neighbor's daughter's laptop died a stereotypical death. It was a farily hip Gateway, big screen, pretty, dual-core processor blah blah . . . until the METAL motherboard clips came loose. Now it has a fried part on the motherboard and is barely re-assembled so I could take pictures.

    It's up for sale for parts, in case you are in the market but forgot to check eBay this week: You go ahead and bid early and often, mmkay?

    Photobucket

    BAG Day Coming Up Soon!

    April 15th is Buy a Gun Day.

    Don't forget!

    Monday, April 4, 2011

    Surprising No-One

    The radio news announced President Obama will be running for re-election in 2012. Pit Boss was having a rough day so I decided to cheer him up by telling him the good news. I knew he would want the chance to vote against The Obama again.

    Congratulate Me.

    I took an unusual step today. In addition to my blade, I took my phone with me when I went out running*. The phone has a clock on it. I have gone from (first day) a ten minute mile with ten minutes of panting on the ground, to thirteen minutes for a mile and a half with a run to the finish, and sitting on the ground for four minutes. I call that progress. My Darling Wife asked if I wanted to push some children in a stroller when I went out running today, and I gave her a funny look and declined . . . maybe next month.

    *Yes, running. Jogging mostly, but it's the running at the end, and wind-sprinting afterwards, that kill.

    Sunday, April 3, 2011

    I Could Do This All Day

    In Texas, if a COP is stopped on the side of the highway with his lights on in the lane next to yours, you have to either slow down 20MPH or move over to give him a clear lane by his car. In Texas, you can't have brake lights burned out on a car being driven on the public roads. Both of these will get you a ticket. Both of these tickets are SUPER EASY to avoid, but if you drive like you walk around the maul with your friends (in Condition White) then it's no wonder you did this today . . .

    On the way to Church, driving down I-35, I saw blue lights on the side of the road and moved from lane #3 to lane #2. The joker in an older Taurus in front of us stayed in lane #3 and put a foot on the brake pedal. Not enough to actually slow the car, but just enough to show the world that they have a brake light out. When we passed by the policeman, I saw there was no other car stopped in front of the cruiser. The COP was probably finishing up his report on his last stop, heads down in his computer. IF the COP had been looking up, his next victim ticket just drove by, and it was an easy two-fer. I LOLd and explained it to my Darling Wife, and she LOLd too. The only thing that would have made it funnier is if they turned out to have 20lbs of weed in the trunk and admitted to it during the traffic stop.

    If you just keep an eye on your car maintenance and move the heck over to give a COP some room, you'll be a couple hundred dollars less-poor when you avoid those tickets, people. This really is not that difficult.

    Saturday, April 2, 2011

    Kids Say The Darnedest Things . . .

    I started telling this story to my Darling Wife by saying, "So my children . . . "

    #2 thought he saw the kids' restroom light turn off by itself. He told us and we brushed him off, so he apparently rounded up his posse and went to handle business. Next time I saw him he was creeping up to the bathroom door and sprang in quickly. #1 was hiding behind the nearest doorjamb.

    VFD: (to #1) What are you doing?
    #1: Waiting to attack anybody that comes out of the restroom.
    #2: (advances through restroom to tub, throws back curtain) AH-HA!

    Then we had a little conversation about just whose job it is to investigate suspicions of strangers in the house, and how to look at the front door and tell that nobody had come in.

    #1 and #2 put together don't add up to 16 years old, but they were going to handle it. Them's my children.

    Friday, April 1, 2011

    3 Quick Hits

    Not worth their own articles here:

    Unemployment hits 11% (or higher)(or 8.8%)(depending on whom you count as unemployed)

    Australia's housing bubble looking increasingly almost-ready to burst

    This right here is awesome:

    Mk19 FCS

    This is Why I Hate April Fools Day

    because, when totally incompetent people are running the government, you can't be sure whether or not to believe stories like this on April 1st.

    SRSLY? When do we get to the point of turning the entire nation of Libya to rubble to prevent harming civilians? The story, in case you didn't click through, is about our policy of preventing harm to non-combatants in Libya's civil war: If the rebels start hurting the civilians, we'll have to start bombing the rebels, as well. It is nice to know that we are at least not taking sides in the matter.

    These war planners grew up in government schools, where both the victim and the aggressor in a playground fight were punished. Well, here it is twenty years later. What a frikken mess. Hey here's a question: if our bombing Qaddafi's forces and the rebel fighters because both of them are harming civilians, leads to harming of civilians, do we bomb ourselves? WTF why not just roll a couple hundred thousand peacekeepers? I mean really, why not? It is our business to take care of Libya's (and only Libya's) civil war, right? Or are non-combatant civilians not being harmed in any other countries? I'm so confused. If only the Ministry of Propaganda would just tell me what to think so I could worship President Obama again!

    What a wreck. What a tangled web . . . wait, who is being deceived here? Is there a money trail? Did Hillary invest in Libyan currency, or did Soros want an opportunity to do so? It's such a mess, our foreign policy. I would say I can hardly wait for January, 2013 but then I remember what could happen in November, 2012.

    It Would Be A Lot Funnier If It Didn't Fit The Man So Well . . .

    I frequent Moonbattery so I don't miss things like this:

    Photobucket

    Communists Are Easy To Please

    ...aesthetically, I mean*.

    One of the original goals of Communism was to reduce art to the most common, base forms. You reduce the expectation of skill in an artist to the point that anyone can consider himself to be one, that's communistic. It brings down the high, and causes the low to believe they are equal to the high. In Communism, this is viewed as a positive good. In Capitalism, the best and brightest are rewarded. A system which values the individual over the collective will value art which displays a high degree of skill.

    This makes communist-y people easy to please. Show them a picture that is composed and in focus and watch them fall over backwards. Take five minutes to make something of low quality, but spend five minutes to explain how very meaningful it is, and they love it. Having never been exposed to high art, and having no idea of the level of skill involved, a painting with near-photographic realistic detail does not impress today's government school graduate. P-diddy does impress with his N-tss N-tss N-tss.

    The upshot of this is that someone with slightly above-average skill becomes a giant among men and a leader of his peers. Plus you can really knock peoples' socks off by doing the barely-higher-than-mediocre.

    *now, politically pleasing them, that's also easy but it means you destroy your country . . .

    Jiffy Lube Meets War Planning

    "Now that we're there" talk is coming out. At Jiffy Lube, they will sell you blinker fluid with no labor charge because they can replace it "while we're in there" changing your turn signal oil. But this is war!

    It is alleged that the USA will be diminished if we leave Libya alone with Qaddafi in power. You know what? The President doesn't care about/believe in the greatness of America and I hope that leads us to the wise course of action this time. Hawks are talking about how that "now that we are in the fight we need to make sure it is won."

    Really? You want to fight a THIRD war? And this one ALSO against an enemy with no uniform, leadership, or visible command structure, and intentionally mingled in with the civilian populace? Invading Libya would be almost as foolish as invading America. EVERYBODY has or can get a gun, and there would not be a time that the people would stop shooting at us. We'd have to practically level the place to get the fighting to stop. Then what? You leave and it starts up again unless ALL of one side is dead. If Qaddafi is still alive and the rebels are still alive, we would have to stay there permanently. Then you need to install a puppet government just in case the locals don't realize what they ought to do for their own good. Then you're nation building and people call you George Bush!

    We need OUT of Libya. That includes our troops of all sorts under NATO command as well.

    Leave
    Libya
    'Lone!

    P.S. I know everything is George Bush's fault but I am having trouble pinning this new war on him. Some leftist reporter will figure it out, I have no doubt. Do try not to spit coffee on your steering wheel or keyboard (as applicable) when you LOL as they blame Bush for Libya.