That's Not Quite What I Would Have Done...

... or, More News From The Place Where England Used To Be

Okay, so 10% of Londonners have hurt themselves. Not climbing ladders or operating table saws or using dynamite. No, they are walking into lampposts.

Seriously. Click the link, I'll wait.

Back already? Good.

How about this: if 10% of your populace is too stupid to figure out that they are walking into large, solid, inanimate objects, make them foot the bill for it instead of having NHS pay for the emergency room visit. Oh wait, that's not socialistic enough is it? Hm. Maybe, suggest that they don't devote 98% of their concentration to their cell phone LOOKING DOWN (instead of even looking up, come on LAZY at least pick your arm up so it hits the post first!) while the other 2% is devoted to walking. Nope, once again, that suggests that people can do something for themselves and we can't have that in the land where banning of pointy kitchen knives is coming under increasingly serious consideration. Oh boy don't get me started on that.

No, folks, the solution is to PAD THE POLES that people are walking straight into! Duh! Of course! WHY didn't I think of it first? Next thing, we're going to have to widen the sidewalks. You know, when someone hits the pole at an angle, they might go careering off into traffic and we couldn't have that could we?

25% of the population thinks there should be lines on the sidewalk to show people looking straight down which way to walk. Surely, this would only lead to people running into the backs of others, who have run into the backs of those who have run into the poles. Contrary to what Ralph Nader might think, padding is not the solution to rapid deceleration events.

Look up, people, for crying out loud. I think the populace going about their blissful (ahem) ways in Condition White may have something to do with the dramatic increase in crime recently, although not as much as the ban on guns and self-defense in general.

What, you didn't click through to Fox's story? Then you missed a winner of a photograph.