More News from The Place Where England Used to Be

From the BBC:

If you are carrying an illegal knife, you should go to jail.

Make that, if you have something with a blade on it about your person without good reason, you should get mandatory jail time.

This reminds me of a retired bobby who was given a pocket knife by his department when he retired. He carried it into the airport, having forgotten to leave it behind. And got in trouble for carrying an offensive weapon with no good reason. It also reminds me of a grandmother who was in trouble for carrying knitting needles, at night, in a bad neighborhood, on her walk home from work. For no good reason.

Here's the reason: because she couldn't carry a .38 revolver in her purse.

Idiots, listen: a knife is a TOOL. I used my evil, wicked, offensive weapon today. I had it concealed on my person and perhaps worst of all, it can be out and open faster than you can blink. That is to say, I cut a few zip-ties off some equipment with my pocket knife. I think I might get shot in the face if I showed the authorities in UK the utility knife I carry at work when I know I'll be doing some serious cutting of shrink-wrap or breaking down boxes. It's got a 6" blade with edges down both sides, and it stays sharp. Heck even my little Buck pocketknife is sharp as [deleted] unless I've just got done using the edge off it. This past week I stabbed myself when a workpiece slipped, and the knife was almost stopped by the time it reached the other hand. Still penetrated the skin though.

You know what would really send the folks over there into screaming fits? We have convicted felons working for us who use five inch-long razor knives to cut packing material.

Guess how many of them have killed somebody with them.

Go on, guess.

I'll wait if you need to take off your shoes to count that high.

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No, it's zero. Because a knife is only a weapon when you use it on a person. You know, like guns, pencils, hammers, rolling pins, insect poison, and basically everything else in the universe with mass.

Just because some [deleted] realizes that it's easier to hurt you with a knife than a board with a nail in it, doesn't mean you need to prevent the Good People from carrying the most useful tool I have with me every day, all day.

But then, the limeys have been voting for the wrong lizard for a loooooong time now, so I guess we really shouldn't be surprised.

Also not surprising was the news from the place where England used to be, that there was a serial robber on the loose... with a sharp pointy rock. This isn't the one I was thinking of, but it does illustrate UK's decline nicely. Next we'll see a man in jail for defending himself with a shoe against some Goblin with a rock.

You know, if they would just ban pointy and hard objects in UK, everyone would be safe at last...

Thanks actionfig.com, this is exactly what we need more of: