Free Cat, Maybe

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness: an album name that came to mind today. 

Our super-duper sweet kitty cat, the only non-meowing cat I ever met and, according to my daughter "the best friend ever, ever ever!" may have to go.  She keeps putting her nasty cat-stank PEE in non-litterbox locations in the house.  This makes my Darling Wife go into homicidal rages.  I've barely kept the cat around a couple of times already by getting #1 to keep the litter cleaner and going to a different litter.  Changing the litterbox to a place that doesn't smell like potty-training-in-progress-boy pee, and using the old litter she used to have, is the final test.  Next time she pees elsewhere, she's out for good. 

#1 said "Thanks for the bail money" and meant it, but I told her to get used to the idea that the cat is going to have to go.

If you can train a cat better than a 10 year-old girl,  do like a quiet, gentle animal, and don't mind the razor-sharp claws, well...

A.Dop.Tion!

A 16 year-old girl in Texas has won her lawsuit.  Against her parents.  

They were pressuring her to have an abortion and she wanted the child to live.  The discussion locally seems to be what responsibility the grandparents-to-be must incur.  My question is, "Why is this a question?"  The parents countersue if necessary, but they should tell the girl, "you put that baby up for adoption and never see it, or you can get a damn job and you and your 17 year-old STUD can support YOUR baby.  If you neglect or can't support it, we'll call CPS and you'll lose it like you should have in the first place."

 

How hard was that?

********

Yes, I am a stone-hearted bastard.  I know.  Cry me a river about familial attachments.  Those parents obviously failed somewhere along the line, but it is not their financial responsibility to support their grandchild.  Their child, yes, for another year or two. 

Children (in America these days) are not emotionally prepared to care for their own children, and the law forbids them from having enough hours at a job to support children financially.  Therefore, children should not be allowed to be "parents" to a baby of their own.  The grandparents have a moral responsibility to care for their own children, and to advise them as to what is the most responsible course of action in any case. 

By far and away it is much, much better for a baby to live with a married couple who are financially able to spare enough money to pay all the birth-mother's medical bills as well as responsible enough to jump through all the hoops required to do a private adoption.  There is exactly NO benefit to the young mother to even so much as see her baby after it is delivered.  Any attachment, any 'open' relationship, is only going to cause hurt and confusion.  A clean break is best.  Cut the cord, mark up the Apgars, and hand the baby off to its new family.  Done and done.

If the child insists on keeping the child and rearing it as her own, it is her own.  She wants to be an adult, she can go out and hustle up enough money to make it happen, and demand her stud do likewise.  That puts THREE young people on a path toward near-certain poverty and an early divorce, with the attendant broken family for a child who did nothing to deserve the suffering in its future.  A truly responsible grandparent will, when they see their baby relative living in sub-standard conditions, keep a sharp eye out for any *legal* excuse to remove the child from the care of its so-called parents.  If they can get a good solid CPS report in when the child is under two years old, the odds for a fast adoption go way, way up, and the baby would never rememeber its birth family at all.

Yes, it means deep emotional suffering for the young mother.  That is to be expected.  Some things can't be fixed - normal emotions included.

What, that's not cold enough?  How about she should have kept 'em crossed and this whole mess wouldn't have ever happened.  How about attaching studboy's wages for the next 18 years, to be paid to the State child support system (because he's probably inclined to disappear as soon as possible).

Well, at Least He's Thinking.

Two laundry machines were going and I was concentrating on work just now (21:50, well past bed time) and I didn't hear anything untoward.  My Darling Wife told me to go and chastise #3 for kicking the wall by his bed instead of sleeping.  I went in to the boys' room and #3 was sitting up in bed, on the side away from the wall. I asked him...

VFD: What're ye doing?
#3: My pillow is cold
VFD: It's cold because you're not sleeping on it.  Lie down
#3: (lies down)
VFD: (arranges blankets on the boy)
VFD: Go to sleep
VFD: (exit, close door)

I wanted to explain why she hadn't heard any gunshots or screaming, so I told my Darling Wife...

VFD: He was trying to re-arrange his blankets.  His pillow was cold, so he was trying to put his blanket on his pillow
DW: LOL
VFD: Some peoples' kids.
DW: LOL

Stupid Crazy Paranoid Parents Don't Want To Vaccinate their Kids!

I mean, what could possibly happen?  The government said it was safe!  It's not like your child is going to develop narcolepsy after getting the new swine flu vaccine, right?

...oh, wait...

Please let's nobody panic and stop getting measles vaccines, okay?  But maybe, when the latest scare-of-the-week disease comes out, you might consider not taking the first vaccine that comes along. Oh, and -for once- I am VERY glad that the US FDA doesn't like to approve stuff just because a scare is on, and/or just because Europe is doing it!

"The U.S. Will Have To Change."

Well excuse the [deleted] out of me, I think I will stay just the way I am.  The only thing that needed to change right before that school shooting was the order of killings: asshat first, then the kids.  He got the order wrong but at least he took himself out at the end.  President Obama, being both a Democrat and a Leftist, likes to clump people together in groups instead of thinking of individuals.  Well guess what?

I'm not going to kill anybody, and neither are you, and neither is the guy who shot up that school last week.  In fact, that will never happen again because he's dead as a door nail! 

Well, then again, President Obama is still in campaign mode.  He got elected and re-elected as a blank slate. People projected what they wanted him to be onto the vague platitudes he spoke, and elected what they wanted!  In the spirit of bipartisanship, I will project what I want onto His Vagueness also.

The U.S. will have to change.  Yes.  The USA should become more like Israel and have the Card-Carrying Good Guys wear guns in the schoolhouses across our nation.  No, not the Police . . . the TEACHERS.  How many school shootings like this have you heard about in Israel?

Let's take a guess as to whether CT's strict gun control laws or the likely Gun-Free Zone nature of this school campus gave the shooter even a moment's pause.  Yeah, they don't stop any CRIMINALS from doing bad.  They stop GOOD PEOPLE from being able to do good.  You know what stops a school shooter?  Here's a hint: it's not laws forbidding private gun ownership . . .


THIS

PREVENTS THIS

LOGIC:

RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WISH FOR ARMED AMERICAN TEACHERS!

How To Tell If A Woman Has Children

You can know your lady has kids very easily in one easy step.  This actually happened to me the other day.

If you are on the phone with her, and about to hang up, and she says in a calm voice:

"No, get your feet off his face.  Bye!" and hangs up, she has children.

Magic Under The Lights

Imagine walking at night in near-total darkness on an abandoned city side-street
Straight into a forest
Where trees are a hundred feet tall
The grass is trimmed neatly
And each tree is covered in points of light right up to the top of the canopy 

That was the perspective from the eyes of #4 last week-end.  If this does not qualify as a magical experience for a child, I don't know what would.

Click the image to see it supersized, hit escape to close the image window.  Better yet, right-click the image and "view image" then click it again to see it full-size (I left it at 1600 pixels wide so it should cover your entire screen)

No News, As They Say...

My kids have taken to saying "I've got good news and bad news" lately.  On a recent trip home from church . . .

#2 (2.5 years old): Ah gah goonews ambanews.
DW: What's the bad news?
#2: No.  No news.
VFD: And no news is good news so...

Don't Tell ME What To Compound, Sister.

Every once in a while I rub up against the government in a way that makes me want to scream and commit acts of violence against people just trying to do their jobs. I went with #2 and #3 to get my usual "your largest quantity generic 30mg pseudoephedrine tablet" at the local pharmacy counter and the girl asked me who it was for, as I was paying. I indicated it was for #2 and #3, and she was thrown totally off her game. She asked how old #2 is and I told her.

She came back with a timid " . . . well, you know he has to be at least 12 years of age . . . "

I told her " . . . or I could give him the liquid preparation (that they carry on the shelf above the box of pills I'm buying) or I could grind it up and give it to him in something else like y'all would do."*

she continues to ring me up as I am pretty obviously not having any of her jive and very obviously over 12 years of age, but she says " . . . but . . . he has to be at least 12 . . . "

After we exited the store, I did a little brainwashing against unreasoning government that started with "that lady said she wants you to suffer with allergies for four more years . . . "

********

*What I also could have said was: "Excuse me but I can't help noticing you are rather young. Perhaps it has escaped your notice, but current recommendations and guidelines for administration of pseudoephedrine to children are based on questionable science and unquestionably bad legislation, due to kneejerk politics instead of logic. When you were still in high school, I would come into this very store and purchase -(turn around and point) right off that shelf over there- a tiny bottle called Infants' Tylenol Cold that was magic when used as directed on THIS boy (point at #2) when he was a few MONTHS old. I know that people are stupid and can't think, but I am not people I am a Person and a Man besides, and I know how to calculate doses based on weight just fine, and I read my labels to make sure I don't give anyone a fatal dose of anything. Which would be a neat trick with sudafed, now that this blessed wonderful drug is behind the counter and that crap phenylephrine which does nothing is on the shelf and the kids of America can't breathe. I happen to know for a fact that dosed by weight THIS kid (point at #2) takes one red pill and gets better. THIS kid (point at #3) takes half that much from (point at shelf behind counter) that bottle and gets better. Look at my face. See how the beard is cut, note the shape of the glasses. Remember this face and do yourself a favor. Never talk to me again about how old my boy should be before I give him the thing that makes him able to breathe.

But I didn't. One would hate to be escorted from the store for being mad at our Elected Heroes to the pharmacy clerk.

FIVE Beetles

Nextdoorneighbordude took his kids swimming a while back. Next morning, his son had a sore ear. Swimmers ear, they thought, no worries. A bit of witch hazel and rinse it out and . . . there's an antenna in the kid's ear. The emergency room people said a) that'll be $500 to remove your free bug, and b) don't feel bad it's the FIFTH one this week. The drought drove this one kind of beetle to seek wet places where they could find it, to include the sleeping childrens' ears full of water apparently. Eww.

YGTBKM GIRL!

My Darling Wife and #1 spent three hours at the hair salon. #1 got a long-overdue haircut and styling. They came home and #1 was told to take a bath and wash her lower bits. THREE times she was told "Do not get your hair wet."

So of course, my Darling Wife will be another hour drying and straightening #1's hair.

Edit 40 minutes later: #1 says in a cautionary tone: Mama, you're going too sloow. I turned around and said I'd have burned her on purpose for that. A short conversation later and #1 decided to shut right up about the speed of redoing her hair.

Hoooooooooooly shit.

My next-door neighbor has two pit bull terriers. They are a year old, and largely untrained. They live outside. They have broken THROUGH our common fence at least three times, finally stopped by hog wire lining on their side.

Say hello to Mimi and Skittles, at my back door last week.



These dogs are stereotypically sweet, gentle animals. If they were any other breed, you would think they were perfect family dogs. Wouldn't hurt a fly, come when called, etc. But they are pit bulls. Click that picture and zoom in. See how the "top" ear of the dog on the right is a little bloody-looking inside? It was almost bitten off by the dog on the left, in a fight over who got to sit on the couch.

I was sitting here minding my own business just now, and I heard the neighbordude holering like he meant it. I killed the TV and went and cracked the back door to listen. He was splitting his attention between Mimi and his daughter, who is like 4-5 years old. The dog probably outmasses the girl by 10 or 20 pounds. She had tried to take something from the dog. She did not sound greatly reassured that "it's only a scratch."

Jesus H. Christ! You can't just TELL a four year-old to leave the sweet lovable doggy alone, and to remember to never try to take something away from the dog! If a chihuahua nips at a child's hand, it stings. If a pit nips at a kid's hand it's like an iron bear trap.

Now don't get me wrong: I think it is stupid for government to ban ownership of pit bulls. Pit bulls are just dogs, after all. Big, strong dogs, but just dogs. Dogs ALL nip, especially when they are young, especially when they are untrained - pits are no exception. But they also have this little feature where, every once in a great while, they get a little crazy over not-much. Having small children and pit bulls in company is a nasty way to play russian roulette.

Just a scratch. This time.

Thanks for Scaring Me

A month ago I was in El Paso with family, and there was a sandstorm. Not much of a one as sandstorms go, but it was the first one our children had ever seen. Brown sky, low visibility, bit of thunder. I went out to close the windows on our Bad Robot, brought down some tipsy-looking flower pots from on top of a low wall, and went into the house and had an idea. I took #2 out into the enclosed front porch to see the sandstorm up close.

He has a hangup about bad weather. He was scared for the first half-minute or so we were out there. His mommy sensed terror and tried to recall the child inside during my lecture explaining what was happening outside. I think she was scared of the storm also, and it didn't help that she said in front of the boy that they were not allowed onto the porch when there was lightning/thunder (when she was a child). I finally managed through sheer obduracy to shoo her back inside and keep #2 out on the porch with me. He was as freaky as ever about the dusty wind and thunder, but I kept explaining to him what was going on, and ended up telling him that, after the sand there would likely be at least a light rain and then everything would be covered in mud.

#2 went in. #1 came out and was almost entirely uninterested and unperturbed. She likely just wanted to see what all the fuss had been about with Mommy. She went back in, and after a moment or two I went back in. I went in to the room where #2 was watching a movie and right out of left field he thanked me for explaining to him what was going on. He said he felt much more relaxed. I about did a back flip and told him to go tell his mother what he'd just told me. He did, as my mind tried to recover from the shock of such immediate and obvious results.

Later, we had a sprinkling of rain, just enough to cover everything in muddy water spots.

Hatred and Fear have the same mother: Ignorance.

My Little Guy Is Making Guys

I was unreasonably pleased to find out today that #3 is now drawing horribly crude little guys on paper. This is a huge step up from scribbles that were his previous best-effort artistic output. Being a parent: Little people, little signs of progress. Tomorrow I'll turn around and he'll be off to the MCRD.

Man Rules

There was a mother/daughter dinner at our church. My Darling Wife made a cake that was generally well-received. #2 was there helping serve the ladies (for a change) and she asked him how he had liked her dessert. He said he didn't taste it.



I told him this was a very important piece of advice for him to remember for the rest of his life: If your mother/sister/girlfriend/wife makes a dessert, you have to taste it. Have. To. Taste. It. Even if it's just a little bite, you have to taste it.

#1 and #2 are old enough to be thoroughly grossed-out by the prospect of being/having boyfriends and girlfriends, so we're still on track, but you have to make sure to start teaching them the important things before they need to know . . .

Oh, Sure! Do Exactly That!

#3 has been coughing for a couple of days, runny nose, etc., classic symptoms of a cold. Today he didn't want to eat a dried cherry and it came out of his mouth and went on the table by his plate. Later, the cherry was still on the table when #4 came clambering down from the arm of the couch. I was making sandwiches on the other side of the table and here comes #4. Faster than you can say furious, pop! into his mouth goes the cherry from the mouth of the sick brother.

Great.

Al Sharpton Goes Home in 3..2..

It was okay for George Zimmerman's dad to say Zimmerman is Hispanic. You can still rile up the useful idiots at a racist rally against a white hispanic. But now Zimmerman's mother has said her grandfather was black. This, of course, makes white-hispanic George a BLACK-white-hispanic. Now we have come full circle and this is "only" a black man killing a black man, and THAT my friends is nothing to get excited over.

********

Because, after all, almost every black man that is killed in America, is killed by another black man . . . and nobody seems to care that inner-city-black culture is broken so badly that this is a non-story. At least, they don't care enough to take meaningful steps to fix it. Lots of same-old not-working government program money being thrown around, sure, but I don't remember the last Al Sharpton/Jesse Jackson conference on The Importance Real Fatherhood Instead of Being a Babymakin Hood Rat. But then I'm a white hispanic too, so what do I know about being Black In America? I mean, just looking at what doesn't work for white folk and seeing it not working for black folk is faulty logic, right?

Or are we all just people after all? Maybe, just maybe, George Zimmerman is an American, and Trayvon Martin was an American, and it doesn't matter what color you are when your skull is being bounced off the pavement . . . and it doesn't matter what color you are when your babydaddy is gone with the wind.

********

We don't need to have a new American conversation on Race. We need to tell the race pimps to sit down and shut the hell up and everybody else just IGNORE whatever color your neighbor might happen to be. If you want the black-on-black violence epidemic to end, you need the black FAMILY to be fixed. The way to have a culture full of young men who are respectful, peaceable, and generally not out killing each other over bad drug deals is to have a MAN (not just a male, a full MAN) and a woman -a family- rearing children, teaching them the right thing to do. With something like 3/4 of the black babies in America born out of wedlock, this is not happening nearly enough. We have had several generations of American black children lacking the proper guidance and leadership to become good citizens living the peaceful, prosperous (read with a sneer, "white") lifestyle.

There is no way to fix this - but that should not stop anyone from trying. If an attempt is to be made, we need a few more Bill Cosby types to show the way, and we need them at the highest levels of government, in the schools, and on the street. Big Brothers/Big Sisters is a great thing, but one-at-a-time is too slow to overcome a 3/4 illegitimacy rate and 50% dropout rate. Black culture is very badly broken and I am afraid there are not enough MEN who happen to be both black AND natural leaders who will bear the standard to the youth.

Don't get too high on your horse there white (and other color) people. Your statistics aren't looking so great either. You wouldn't be so happy about your demographics if you didn't have the absolutely-terrible numbers from the black culture to feel relatively good about.

********

YAWN not controversial enough, VFD!

I'll do you one better'n that: the reason American culture is going downhill is that Americans need to have a personal relationship with Jesus. You people need to get to reading, believing, and LIVING what it says in your Bibles. If you don't, not only will the country continue down the road to calamity, you will have done your part to destroy us. ONLY Christians, living like non-Christians know they should, will help America to become great and good again.

But hey, you only have a couple of small pet sins, so you couldn't possibly be the reason America is wasted.

Right?

I Sometimes Wonder (as I wander)

If our first parents (Adam/Eve) had obeyed the only rule they were given, would it hurt when a baby's first set of teeth came through the gums? If our mouths were not about to spend a lifetime of speaking vanities against our Creator, would it hurt as they were forming teeth?

Down With The Sickness

In addition to pushing at least 6 teeth at one time, #4 is also down with a yellowboogers cold, too, I think. #3 is also pretty stuffed up; I stayed home from church with both of them.

I think they got it from me and I felt better a couple days after the one worst day so here's hoping.

Thanks God for over the counter meds.

P.S., parenting pro tip: if it's almost nap time and benadryl is starting to kick in and your baby suddenly starts acting tired . . . put him to bed! Don't wait for the moment to pass. They'll be up and out of sorts for a while after they perk up again.

My Son Went to A Shau!

Background: when I hear the phrase A Shau, I think of the book Death in the A Shau Valley by Larry Chambers (recommended, by the way). So it was a little surreal hearing my son hollering how he wanted to go to A Shau.

#2, #3, and #4 were running around the living room throwing balls at to each other, and then it was supper time. Then #2 was told to go start the shower. #3 finished eating next and was told likewise to go have a shower. Then #4 got the idea that it is shower time and wanted

n
o
t
h
i
n
g
to do with eating the rest of his meal. I got a few more bites in him but he was pretty much done anyway. When he understood that it was going to be his turn in the tub, he started a forte with A SHAU! A SHAU! and when he was set down, he started running for the bathroom. My darling wife encouraged him to run and laughed at him, which made him A SHAU all the louder.

Good times.