Friday, March 30, 2012

Madness at Work

VFD: Hey, when is the drawing for this thing?
Guido: Tonight.
VFD: Thanks, WHEN is the drawing.
NJ: Why, are you having second thoughts?
VFD: No, I just want to know what time I need to call everybody to make fun.

********

There were only a handful of intelligent souls where I work today (who didn't buy lottery tickets). Last night I said I'd bet my life at a billion to one odds and today I'm proving I won't bet a dollar at 170whatever million to one odds. Sure it's a half billion dollars, but you're as likely to win if you play as if you don't, all the way out to a half dozen decimal places.

That said, if I can't get in to work tomorrow because everybody with a key called in rich, I probably won't be too happy about the $4 in gas I burned to get there and back home!

And no, to counter an often-repeated argument, nobody HAS TO win. This is what, 18 or 19 times they've drawn for this jackpot. The payout keeps going up with NOBODY winning.

*******

At least 10% of the people employed at my company bought into the office pool for one reason: they would suffer severe psychological trauma if the pool hit the jackpot and they weren't in on it. I wholeheartedly endorse this as a low dollar insurance plan for future mental stability. If you think you might be kicking yourself tomorrow, by all means go buy a ticket or ten. Just remember you wouldn't have won anyway, so don't feel too bad when you don't win.

No comments: