They had sent the funds to an old account. Once I got to an actual human at paypal, it was fixed in a couple of minutes. I had to think faster than their phone robot to get to a human. Good luck getting into your account with NO clue what information you used to sign up for the account!
Hint for getting past automated phone robots: this worked for me. While the robot was asking for the last four digits of some number I presumably used to know, I pressed zero to get to an Operator and it waited until I hadn't entered the rest of a number. Voice prompts it is, then. I said "agent" and waited a second - the machine kept talking. I said "representative" and waited again, then said "operator" and the machine paused. It started talking again and I said "operator" again a few times, interrupting the machine each time, until it changed tracks and asked a different question. This time to get off the question it was asking, I had to repeatedly say "agent." If I didn't know this tune it would be hard to dance, but thanks God I'm up on things.
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