The Toe: You Broke It!

Okay, maybe I did it. You're off the hook this time, but I'm watching you . . .

Symptoms checklist:

Trauma: check

Sudden pain, decreasing in a few hours: check.

Stiffness: check.

Swelling: check.

Discoloration the next day: check.

Pinpoint pain during walking: check.

Little clicking noise when manually articualted: check.

Blue/gray skin: negative

Numb/tingling: negative

Open wound: negative

Protruding bones: negative

Crooked toe: negative

Drainage: negative

Toe bed injury: negative

There we have all the classic symptoms of an uncomplicated minor toe bone fracture, with no signs of an emergency condition. Thank God, it could be very much worse. So I could go to the hospital and pay a hundred bucks and get my toe taped, or I can go to the Pharmacy aisle in HEB and spend $2 on tape. I wouldn't even do that, but we ran out of tape. I can walk, but it looks like I'll have to lay off my marathon training.

So, note to self: don't put all your weight, at high velocity, onto one toe. Got it.

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Is it wrong of me to be mad at the Dear President for this? Wasn't he supposed to give me free health for life or something?