In contrast to the much saltier version from last night, today I present the letter I actually did send to the Davesville public works people. This was printed off the computer, and then I ran it through the copy machine with my driver's licence on it, so they got their copy of my photo ID along with the following note to stick in their sunless place. In red marker, I wrote UNHAPPY CAMPER and put an arrow pointing to the image of my DL under the text of the letter.
********
To whom it may concern,
Enclosed please find my "application" for a solid waste account with the City of Davesville. This letter is to register a complaint at this extremely-offensive process. I have been using the same solid waste company for eight years, have never missed a payment that I can recall, and am quite happy with their bi-weekly pickup service. If I have to change to the company selected by the City of Davesville I will. I refuse, however, to pay a deposit for the privilege of being forced to use a different company, on the chance that I will turn out to be a deadbeat. Please recall that anything the City does has a policeman's gun behind it. Demanding money from me at gunpoint to force me to receive a lower level of service is morally wrong and sinful behavior by the City of Davesville.
Your letter says you can waive the deposit requirement for persons using automatic bank drafts to pay their trash bill. If you can waive it for them, you'll have to waive it for me, because I'm ready to raise a stink over this.
Sincerely,
********
As a bonus, they have a requested start date for the new service. I put a start date during the weekend, before they will have received the application. And I didn't give a phone number or email address. Haha.
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