SRSLY?! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!1!
So said I, with a complete lack of any other (obscene or otherwise) commentary, in an admirable display of oral self-restraint on my part.
At an intersection with a left turn-or-straight lane and a straight-only lane. Some individual driving in the straight-only lane decided they just have to right now! turn left when my Darling Wife's minivan containing four children and me was in the left/straight lane 1/4 car length behind on their left. Making an illegal lane change, in an intersection, without using their turn signal, when ANOTHER CAR IS IN THE SPACE WHERE THEY ARE ABOUT TO PUT THEIR CAR. Violating not only Texas traffic laws and the law of common sense*, but they almost failed in an attempt to violate the laws of physics**!
Clue: you're in a straight-only lane at this intersection, turning is illegal
Clue: It's illegal because you're next to a left turn-or-straight lane where other cars might be
Clue: If you want to turn left, be in the left-turning-optional lane
Clue: AND GET OFF THE [deleted] phone you [deleted]!
Fortunately (thanks God!) my reflexes are lightning-quick and I was able to leave at least a yard of clear air between our cars. Then they stopped in such a position that I was able to continue through the intersection by going around them a little. I was so pissed at their stupidity I made a point to squeal the tires as I left. I wish I'd had a camera so I could report them to their employer (it was a private security company's patrol truck***) but oh well.
*Rule: before you do something illegal, look around.
**Two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.
***Way to be on the look-out. I wish I could remember the company name so I could tell you never to hire them because their patrol drivers suck at driving.
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