BP To MAKE Money Cleaning Up Their Oil Spill!

You read it here first. Or at least, you would have if I were still posting from work. I came up with this around lunchtime, all by my lonesome. Feel free to forward it to the fevered minds at prisonplanet.com.

So get this: the Obama administration is getting fed up with the fact that it is taking a long time to plug a hole 23" across that is spewing out high-speed, high-pressure, high-volume oil a MILE under the surface of the ocean, WAY out in the gulf. They are making noises about having The Government take over the effort.

Q: Who in the government has a ship standing by and ready to go out there and put a giant rubber stopper in the hole?

A: Nobody, that's who.

The Government would have to have somebody who knew what he was doing go in there and fix it all up nice-like. That somebody is going to be:

a) The Easter Bunny
b) Big Sis Napolitano
c) A huge multinational petroleum company

The next logical step is as follows: who knows the most about this particular oil disaster, and has already hired on consultants from all the other oil companies AND experts from several world-class universities, and has assets on-scene to take care of the problem? Why that would be British Petroleum! We should totally hire them for a billion and a half dollars to shut off the well and clean this all up for us! Yeah, that's a great idea!

But The Government doesn't know what to do, or what ideas have been discussed and discarded. They only know what has very publicly failed to work, to date. So then we could spend a couple of days whilst some needlehead in the Obama White House goes back and forth over well-trod ground with the BP engineers while oil continues to pour into the ocean. THEN they could impose some ridiculous union rules that would prevent the job getting done the next month, THEN the thing the BP people wanted to do next, before the effort was "taken over" by The Government would be tried, and it would work.

And who makes money? BP makes money! Great success! High Five!

Let BP take care of the leak. They are one of a handful of companies who has half a clue what to do, and I guarantee that they are thrashing day and night trying to stop that PR disaster formerly known as straight-up MONEY pouring into the Gulf of Mexico. Let them handle it, then let them be liquidated to pay all the damages claims.

Or maybe hire a Chinese company who would hire BP. Or maybe, hey let's do what they used to scream about the Bushies doing: a no-bid contract for Haliburton to do it!

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All the talk of The Government taking over the efforts under the sea is just evidence of the fact that we have Statists running the country and the press right now. Their knee-jerk reaction to anything is halp! somebody call da gummint!