Just Keep It To Yourself

A fine illustration of a general principle: Keep your thoughts to yourself!

My Darling Wife was generous enough to allow me to vacuum out her car. I went to the garage to get a vacuum, and the cord was tangled with a bunch of miscellany on the floor. To express my pleasure at untangling the cord, I sang a fun little song quietly, under my breath. Because this is a full-size vacuum and I like what remains of my hearing, I had already donned my hearing protection so I would have it with me when the vacuum was running (vs. forgetting it in the garage).

The tune: the Chicken Dance. The words: fuckin fuckin fuckin fuck, fuckin fuckin fuckin fuck, fuckin fuckin fuckin fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck (etc.) What I was saying: "effin effin effin eff, effin effin effin eff, effin effin effin eff, eff eff eff eff." Alluva sudden, my spidey senses went off and I turned around in the silence of my earmuffs, to see said Darling Wife coming in to the garage. Had I been singing what I was thinking, I would have had some 'splainin' to do. As is, I don't think she even heard it. Good success.

For those of you in the military or business worlds, this helps also. When you would like to turn the air blue with invective against someone who is telling you what to do, smile with your mouth, and lock down your voice - while you cuss them out from behind your eyes in silence if you feel like it. Then at the appropriate moment you say "Yes, SIR!" and go do what you must.