Thursday, July 29, 2010

Amazing Medical Breakthrough Roundup

When Democrats are given control, they like to take control. Hence Obamacare, which dictates that you must buy health care payment insurance. Take that a few steps further, and you end up with a mandate to have a device implanted in your vagina, just in case you might maybe possibly end up in premature labor without realizing it. It would save billions of taxpayer dollars, don't you see. And as you are a wage slave for the taxpayer (read: moocher class) you MUST take this thing into your body. It is for the greater good! Aside from that sort of mandate, I can't see too many women lining up to be fitted with one of these.

Doctors cost too much. They foolishly expect to be able to repay their capitalist pig student loans out of illegitimate, greed-driven, evil PROFITS. We may soon eliminate your eeeeEEEEeeeevil human surgeon and replace him. Robotic surgery, minus the surgeon. "No thanks doctor robot, I think I'll just die."

When I was a boy, I imagined being able to use my bionic eye and zoom in to look at what the men on the moon bases were doing. Well, there are already various types of implantable optics for changing how eyes work, but this is the first one they are actually calling a "telescope" . . . and it's FDA approved! Unfortunately, in order to use this telescope, you have to be old and legally blind already. Under the new Socialized medicine regime of the future, you useless old people won't have enough Quality-Adjusted Life Years remaining on the tail end of your existence to justify the cost of such a surgery, even if it is done by a robot surgeon. The rest of the taxpayers would appreciate it if you would just find yourself a convenient ice floe somewhere or just bite a bullet or something and DIE already! Don't you know how expensive you are to maintain at your age? Jeez, how inconsiderate you are!

Snark? Sometimes I think it comes from cynicism. What do you think?

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