Tuesday, May 24, 2011

You have to watch it twice.

If you haven't already, you really ought to watch the video of the President's limo getting high-centered on the way out of the Embassy in Ireland. Sorry about the commercial but it's worth sitting through. Watch it until the car bottoms on the driveway, and then rewind it and watch it again. One of the guys pulled this up on his phone and the people at work did the same thing I did, and you will have to do. The following transcript is a universal constant amongst viewers of this video.

You know those six-foot breaker bars you jam into the ground to break rocks by hand? You know the noise one of them makes when you hit a really hard rock and the bar bounces back? THAT is the sound you insert for CLANK below. This is the sound track that will be in your ears when you watch this video:

:first car comes out, scrapes: "ooh, that's low"
:The Beast comes out, crows cheers:
You: "LOL"
:The Beast comes out, crowd cheers:
Crowd: "aaaaw"
You: "LOL"

I LOL'd but good. Then I remembered this is the limo of the POTUS. I thought how easy it would be to strand the car and force him to exit from the car in a place where you can know the range and position to within a few meters. This is crucial information for a malevolent marksman, and a CRITICAL FAILURE of the President's security team. His driver is only the final failure in the chain of security breakdowns.

You people FAIL at keeping him alive. It was only good luck that kept him alive that time. See to it this never happens again, or you ALL SUCK.

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